I'm calling it, fam: 2020 is the year of love. That doesn't mean everyone's guaranteed to find it in exactly the form they're expecting, of course. But maybe you'll start looking for love in unexpected places, learn from the love that doesn't work out, and most importantly, start loving yourself even harder than ever before. And if you need a little help along the way, there are some dating mantras to recite if you're single that can actually help you to find love by putting you in a more confident mindset.
If you're a newbie to affirmations, here's what you need to know. As you may or may not know, negative self-talk can be seriously sabotaging. Because the more you say those harmful things to yourself, the more you believe them. In the same way, declaring positive mantras on a regular basis can reshape those problematic beliefs into healthier ones. And as you start to embrace those new thoughts, you may find that approach romance with increased optimism and self-assurance. Goodness knows you can't have enough of either of those things in today's dating world.
Consider saying your mantras out loud in the mirror because seeing and hearing the words can often make them resonate even more powerfully. You could also write or type them onto a piece of paper that you display in a visible place where you're likely to see them daily.
But first, you'll need to collect the right mantras that ring true for you. Here's to a year filled with heart-eye emojis — and here are a handful of mantras to get you started.
"I am desirable and worthy of love, exactly the way I am."
Say it louder for the people in the back.
Resist getting caught up in the "new year, new me" obsession, because guess what? You don't need to change a single thing to attract love. You don't need a different body, or a better job, or anything else. You're exactly where you're supposed to be, and you deserve love just the way you are RN.
"The right person will make me feel like I’m enough as-is."
This is essentially the sister mantra to the last one. There's someone out there who will not only accept your so-called "flaws," but appreciate them. Remind yourself of this any time you're feeling inadequate, or wondering if you haven't found love yet because you need to change something about yourself.
"I do not fear dating failures, because they bring me one step closer to success."
I'm going to be real with you. You are pretty much guaranteed to deal with a disappointment or three while dating in 2020. But those "failures" are actually super valuable experiences in their own way, so don't let them discourage you. Even if something doesn't work out, you can still take away a lot of important insights about what you want (or don't want) from a relationship, and then apply that knowledge to your next romantic endeavor.
So, try to enjoy the ride this year. Some dates will be total duds, and that's OK. Saying this mantra is a nice reminder that it's not always about the end result, but rather, the journey that gets you there.
"I’m open to love, however it presents itself."
When you fantasize about finding "The One," how specific is your storyline? Do you meet them at a coffee shop where you accidentally take each other's orders? Do you cross paths at Whole Foods, where you both reach for the last bag of dried mango? There's nothing wrong with daydreaming a little bit about the future of your love life, but this mantra can help to bring you back to reality. Because in reality, the way you meet someone will probably be even more awesome than you ever imagined. But if you're too focused on finding love in the exact way you planned to, you may miss it.
Maybe you'll hit it off with a coworker who's right under your nose. Maybe your parents will introduce you to someone that's actually perfect for you (shocker, I know). Maybe you'll find true love on a dating app. Just keep your mind open and your eyes peeled, and anything is possible.
"I love myself more every day — and someone else will, too."
This one speaks for itself. Self-love is a key component of pursuing romantic love because it allows you to see yourself in the light that anyone dating you should. When you love yourself, you're more likely to find someone who values you.
"I am in charge of my own romantic destiny."
One of the most difficult aspects of dating is that you must accept that you cannot control how anyone else behaves. Sometimes, that means you get ghosted and you don't know why, or you discover that the person you're super into doesn't want a serious relationship like you. And while all of these frustrating scenarios can be tough to swallow, it's crucial to remind yourself that ultimately, you are in the driver's seat of your own love life.
You get to choose who you swipe right on, flirt with IRL, give a second chance to, introduce to your friends and family, or let your guard down with. How empowering is that?
"I know what I'm looking for, and I won’t settle until I find it."
Whether it's in your brain or written down on a piece of paper, you likely have a list of things you're looking for in a potential partner. These qualities could pertain to their personality, their values, their lifestyle, etc. Regardless, it can be easy to lose sight of those things when you're dating, especially if you're super eager to find love.
While it's always good to be flexible and open-minded, as someone who doesn't check off all your boxes may surprise you, you also shouldn't forget about the traits that are most important to you. And saying this mantra can help to hold you accountable in that regard.