I love the early stages of dating, when you start to build chemistry and get to know each other better. However, catching real feelings for the person you're dating can really up the stakes, and make that excitement go from promising to scary AF. In that scenario, knowing the dating behaviors that mean someone’s serious about you can be really helpful. Spotting them might help you feel a little more secure about their feelings for you if you're too shy or nervous to ask upfront. While the best way to really know what’s on their mind is to simply ask them, sometimes actions speak even louder than words. That's why, knowing how to pinpoint specific behaviors that might indicate someone wants to get serious can be so helpful. In that case, what should you be on the lookout for?
Elite Daily spoke with four dating and relationship experts about how to tell whether someone you're into is serious about you. By knowing where your date is coming from, you can take this opportunity to see if it aligns with what you envision for the relationship’s future (or not), and proceed accordingly. Here are the behaviors the experts say to pay attention to.
While paying attention to your date's behavior is important, so is hearing what they have say. That's why it’s important to listen to what your date says they're looking for from the very beginning, as Susan Winter, a NYC relationship expert, love coach, and author of Breakup Triage: The Cure for Heartache previously told Elite Daily. "People who truly want a serious connection will make sure to state that on the very first date," she said. So, if they're making their intentions clear from the jump, give them the benefit of the doubt.
If your date wants something specific, like to get more serious about your relationship, they are going to be very interested in knowing if you're on the same page, explained Winter. "The word ‘relationship’ has different meanings to different individuals," said Winter. "A serious partner will make sure that you’re on the same page and going the same direction from the very first date."
When you and your date talk, how deep does the conversation go? Is it light and impersonal, or does your date show real interest in understanding who you are? If it's the latter, Winter said that might be an indication that someone is looking to establish a stronger connection and get serious about your relationship. ”When someone is looking for a serious partner, his or her questions will go beyond the superficial," said Winter. "Though they may open the conversation by asking if you have brothers and sisters or where you grew up, your discussion will eventually shift to life goals and values."
As Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, licensed clinical psychotherapist, relationship expert, and author of Training Your Love Intuition previously told Elite Daily, these kinds of “engaged” questions can also be about what it is that you’re looking for in a relationship now. She says they may ask things like: "What kind of things are important to you in a relationship? [Or,] what have you learned from your past relationships about what you need?” Both, she says, might be signs they're looking to take things to a more serious level.
Going on a private, intimate date can be very romantic, but according to relationship and etiquette expert April Masini, going on public dates where you meet people your date associates with might be a sign your relationship is moving in a more serious direction. "Any time a partner shows you off — to friends, at office parties, or company dinners, or to parents and relatives, it's because they want approval and to show you off, as well as to integrate you into this very important part of their lives," Masini previously explained to Elite Daily.
According to Winter, this type of dating behavior is evidence that they're interested in seeing how you will fit into their life. “Your public presentation is their way of 'testing the waters' by including you in their life," Winter said. "If your partner is bringing you into their inner circle, it’s a great indication that they want you to stick around in a more official capacity."
Similar to going on outings that bring you in contact with other people in your date's life, going on double dates with their friends is a sign they might be starting to get serious about a future with you, said Masini. "When your partner starts taking you out with other couples and hanging out with friends who are part of couples, it's because they want a long-term relationship with you," Masini explained.
Has your date started mentioning things they want to do with you in the future? For instance, has your date begun casually bringing up things they are looking forward to, like going to a concert, a vacation, spending the holidays together, or even living together sometime in the future? If so, James Preece, dating expert and consultant for ModelClub.com, previously told Elite Daily that bodes well for their hopes for the relationship. “If [they’re] serious about you, [they] won't be afraid to talk about where things might be headed,” he concludes.
Ultimately, recognizing that someone wants to get serious isn’t really that difficult to spot. It’s just about paying attention to how your date acts when you're together and then trusting your intuition when it comes to their sincerity. At that point, the question becomes: What is you really want? Once you can answer that, you’ll know what comes next. Either way, you got this.
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