If Someone Wants To See You Again, You'll See These 4 Dating Behaviors
I have been on a lot of bad first dates, ranging from just not really clicking all the way to truly awful. But what kept me going and putting myself out there, knowing the odds that it would be disappointing, were the good dates, obviously. Sure, dating can be frustrating, but it can also be super fun. And when it goes well, the only thing you really need to know is if the feeling is mutual and if if someone wants to see you again, too. Let's be honest, sometimes you can go on what feels like a great date only to have them disappear afterwards. Knowing that, how can you really tell if you are both on the same page when it comes to going out again? It's actually not that difficult, as Connell Barrett, Dating Transformation founder and executive dating coach, tells Elite Daily. "You can absolutely read someone’s behavior to tell if they want to see you again. Both on a date and after, people are like radio towers — always broadcasting information about how they feel and what they want. You just have to look for clues," he says. But in order to effectively pick up on and decipher the clues, online dating expert Julie Spira tells Elite Daily you can't just check out, you need to be on the lookout for them. "It’s actually easier to spot if someone doesn’t want to see you, so I recommend being present while on a date, and showing an interest in what your date has to say," she explains. Here's what else the experts say are signs that the chances of a followup date are good.
1. The Conversation Flows Naturally.
Nothing is more awkward on a first date than having the conversation just stall out. This can be a sign that the chemistry isn’t there. The opposite is also true, says Spira. “When you’re on the date and time passes by so fast, because the convo is so interesting, it’s a great sign that the person you’re on a date with would like to see you again," she shares. "If the opposite happens, and there are several lulls in the conversation, your date just might not be feeling it, and if so, chalk it up to a one-and-done date.”
2. Pay Attention To Their Body Language.
While having good banter is definitely a positive sign, Spira says you can also pick up a lot about your date’s interest in intentions in their body language. “When you’re greeted with a hug and a smile, it’s a good sign,” says Spira. “Those who are interested in seeing you again will show it by leaning in when you speak, and will want to walk you to your car, waits for your ride-share to show up, and will give you a strong hug, or even a kiss, which is a sure-fire sign you’ll be getting together again.”
3. They Are Responsive And Emotive In Text Messages.
Barrett says there are actually clues to be found in your date's behavior outside of the actual date, especially how they behave over text. “Pay attention to how they text you,” says Barrett. “A sign someone wants to see you again is responsiveness — they quickly, consistently respond to your texts, and they do so with good, positive vibes, rather than short, curt messages. If they text you while they’re still in the Uber on the way home from date number one that’s a huge indicator of interest,” he explains. “And the more emojis they use, the better. When someone feels an emotional bond with another person, they use lots of emojis.”
4. They Tell You They Want To See You Again.
Arguably the clearest sign that your date wants to see you again is that they say so. This can mean that they talk about the things they want to do with you in the future, says Barrett. “If they talk about future activities you might do together, they’re basically saying, ‘Let’s go out again!’ And if they’d agreed to meet for ‘a quick drink’ and it becomes a three-hour night out, that’s a great sign that they want to see you again. Time investment equals interest,” he explains.
Or they may let you know at the end of the date that they want to get together again. “If they tell you outright that they’d like to see you again, and specifically ask you out for a second date, you’ve just won the dating lottery. Remember, the goal of a first date is to see if you click and have enough in common to get to a second date,” says Spira.
While these clues are all helpful in knowing how your date feels about meeting up again, it’s also good to do a little gut check and poll yourself to see if that’s something you want, too. After all, life is too short to go on dates that you're not really into either. Don't be afraid to trust your instincts.