6 Signs He Is Committed To You, Even If He Hasn’t Said It Yet
If you've think you've found the person you want to commit to forever, you probably feel really excited and happy.
That phase in a relationship where you haven't yet totally discussed where you are, but you just know the two of you are secure and in love, is one of the most fun times in a couple's life. There is still a bit of uncertainty there, which can make it even more exhilarating, but there's also a lot of happiness.
But maybe you're happily in a relationship and just want a little bit more assurance that he really is ready for a commitment with you.
I spoke to an expert to get some insight on signs your guy is committed, even though he may not say it. Here they are:
1. You Are His Priority
James Preece, dating expert and consultant for ModelClub.com, says that it's clear when a guy is committed because he makes his partner the priority in his life. If he puts you before everything else, that's one of the best signs he is committed.
"If he chooses to see you rather than spend time with his friends, you know things are going well," says Preece.
Before my husband and I got married, it was like he couldn't see anything but me (and I, of course, couldn't see anything but him). Even if we hadn't had conversations about being soulmates and wanting to get married, I would have known he was in it for the long haul just by the way he made me feel special.
Conversely, of course, if your guy is spending all of his time with other people and not making time for you, he may not be ready for commitment.
Preece says it's even more assurance that he's committed if he doesn't mind moving things around just to get to see you. It means that you make him feel really good and that he wants to have that feeling whenever possible.
"If he's willing to adjust his schedule to fit in time with you, then that's even better," says Preece. "He loves being with you and feels most comfortable when you are together."
If your guy makes it clear that you are his number one, then rest assured he's committed.
2. You Have The Keys
"Once a man gives you the keys to where he lives, he's 100 percent committed," says Preece.
I'll admit: In prior relationships, I avoided giving out my keys to people at any and all costs. I was a really private person that hated the idea that someone might drop by unannounced or unwanted. Before we got married, though, my husband had open access to my apartment whenever he wanted it and it was the same for me at his house. It was clear very early on that we were both very ready for a long-term relationship.
Preece says it's about more than just access, it's about trust: "It's a fantastic sign that he completely trusts you and is quite happy for you to stay even when he's not there. He knows there is the risk you might discover things he'd rather you didn't, but he's open enough not to care."
Having the keys to your guy's place definitely means he's already in for a true commitment.
3. He Remembers The Little Things
Preece says it's not always about the big things, like time together and space in each other's lives. Sometimes, it's about the little things, literally: "A committed man is one who listens to everything you say even if you don't think he is."
Preece emphasizes that doesn't just mean he is listening to your major life plans. Instead, he'll know literally everything about you and will show you that he does by the things he does for you.
"He'll know your favorite foods, places, and things, then go out of this way to make sure you get them. He does this because he wants you to feel happy and secure. It might not be grand gestures, but he'll surprise you by dropping in little reminders every now and again."
If you find yourself surprised that your guy was paying attention to something small you said, it means he's committed to you even though he might not say it.
4. He Refers To You As "We"
If your guy has already nestled up comfortably in that committed couple life, he'll be calling you a "we" even when you don't know it.
Preece says this comes through most clearly when he's talking to those that matter to him: "Pay attention when you hear him talking to his family and friends. Is he referring to you as a couple? Maybe he'll say something like 'We'd love to come' without even considering an invite might just be for him."
It's the moments where he offhandedly says something about the two of you being a unit that you really know he wants a long-term committed relationship.
And be aware that the reverse is true, too: If you think you're a "we" and he just thinks he's solo, you may be headed for heartbreak.
"On the other hand," says Preece, "if they don't even know you are together, then that's not a good sign."
5. He Doesn't Play Games
An immature guy who isn't ready for a commitment will use stupid dating tricks and tactics to keep you hanging on. A mature, loving man who is ready to be with you forever won't do any of that.
Preece says, "A genuine, committed guy knows what he wants and isn't afraid to really go for it. He doesn't try to test you and see if he can make you jealous or push your buttons. Instead, he treats you with respect and does everything possible to make you happy."
It's not just because he wants brownie points, says Preece. It's because seeing you happy makes him really happy, too. A guy who wants to be committed to you won't take the risk of playing games and losing you: "He knows what he has and has no intention of losing it!"
6. He Talks About The Future With You
A guy who's not super into commitment will avoid talking about the future at all costs.
I was actually someone that hated commitment before I got married, and anytime someone would bring up a possible future, I'd get out of it with a vague "Well, who knows!" and then try to pick a different topic as quickly as possible. When I connected with my husband, though, that all changed and I wanted to talk about our future together a lot.
Preece says if he naturally talks about your future, it's a good sign he's committed: "If he's serious about you, he won't be afraid to talk about where things might be headed."
What he talks about depends on where you are in your relationship, says Preece. "If it's early, he might want to plan a holiday together. Or if you've been together a while, he might naturally want to make sure you are on the same page about marriage, kids and exactly what you are looking. Then he'll plan towards that."
If your guy is happy to discuss the future with you, he's definitely committed and in it for good.
A man who is committed to you will display these behaviors even if the two of you haven't fully discussed your commitment yet. If he does, and you feel that way about him too, the "what are we" talk might not be too far off!