Commitment can be a funny thing. When it comes to dating, some people avoid it like the plague, while others actively seek it out. If you’re in the latter category, you may find yourself looking for subtle signs that your boo is down to take the next step. Of course, this could come in the form of a conversation about defining the relationship. But if they aren’t outright telling you they want to make things official and exclusive, how can you know they’re ready? As it turns out, there are certain dating behaviors that mean someone is ready to commit.
Looking out for these signs can be beneficial in a number of ways. For one, you might gain a better idea about where your date is at, which means you might be able to bring up the subject of commitment more comfortably and confidently. Additionally, if you gain some insight into whether bae is ready to commit, you can then take a step back and do a self-assessment. Figure out if you’re on the same page, and moreover, what you want from this relationship, before having the DTR talk.
Wondering where your partner’s head is at? Then keep a lookout for these signs that they’re ready to lock it down.
According to Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking , giving you access to their home — and making you feel super welcome there — is a strong sign that they’re approaching commitment territory.
“You don't need to worry if you show up day or night that someone else is going to be there with them,” she explains. “Their actions speak loudly and you feel the love.”
So, do you have a toothbrush at their apartment? Get the feeling it’s becoming your second home? All of these factors point to the possibility that your relationship is getting serious.
If you’ve already met your partner’s squad, their office bestie, and their brother — well, that’s a solid indicator that they’re approaching commitment territory.
“You are important to them, and they want everyone to know,” says Trombetti. “They don't really care what they think of you either, except they may hope their parents like you because you are going to be in each other's life.”
Meeting the parents can be a big deal, but if you’ve met their friends, their coworkers, or their siblings, that’s a positive sign that they see a future with you.
This is a big one, fam. How your boo behaves after the first fight can say a lot about their level of investment in making the relationship work.
“If they stick around to work it out instead of acting out and running away — that's a sign that someone is committed to you,” says Trombetti.
It makes a lot of sense, too. Running away from conflict is a whole lot easier, but if your boo is committed to working through the issue with you and reaching a place of understanding, that shows that they’re willing to wade through the hard stuff with you. And that’s pretty important, given that arguments will be inevitable in your relationship going forward. Keep in mind, however, that there are other personal reasons why someone might try to avoid a fight. So, if your boo bolts when things get heated, that doesn’t necessarily mean they aren’t interested in committing to you. It might just mean that they need to learn some healthier strategies for navigating conflict.
You know all about bae’s career aspirations, as well as their deepest and darkest fears. That’s because when the two of you have a conversation, nothing is off the table.
“It's like they are an open book,” Trombetti tells Elite Daily. “They are sharing their life with you. You can feel their investment in this relationship.”
When someone reveals their inner hopes and struggles, they’re allowing themselves to be vulnerable with you. That not only indicates that they deeply trust you, but also that they want you to be a part of their journey. In other words, as Trombetti puts it — they’re all in.
So, what if you still can’t tell whether someone is ready to commit? Certainly, these signs can help you to assess the situation, but if you’re still unclear on where bae’s head is at, Trombetti recommends talking it out.
“Communication about both of your needs is key,” she explains.
If you want to test the waters first, you can start by simply asking them a question that might offer insight into their feelings on commitment. For example, you might ask, “What’s the next step for you in this relationship?” or, “What are your goals for this relationship?” or, “I'm curious — how do you feel things are going for us? Where do you see us in a few months?” Their responses, as well as nonverbal cues (like body language and facial expressions), may tell you a lot about where they’re at. But if you’re still not sure where they stand, you may want to take a more straightforward approach. That might mean saying something along the lines of, “I’m interested in being with you and only you, and seeing where things go. How does that sound to you?”
Remember — this route may feel risky, but it's neither unreasonable nor demanding. In fact, you’re doing both you and your boo a favor by bravely diving into an important topic rather than beating around the bush. By tackling the subject of commitment head-on, you can make sure you’re both on the same page before you figure out how to proceed in your relationship. There is no right or wrong when it comes to commitment. Ultimately, what’s important is that you and bae both feel that your needs are being met. A fulfilling relationship doesn’t have to involve commitment, but it does have to involve mutual respect and trust.
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