Gather the troops: Your bestie has just gone through a bad breakup, and she’s hurting. It can be tough to know the right thing to say when your friend is suffering, but whether they know it or not, they’re counting on you to lift them up in any way you can. And it may not take much, either: there are some foolproof
texts to send your friend after a bad breakup for letting them know that A) you’re here for them and B) they’re going to be fine.
Obviously, it’s a good idea to reach out via text when you know your BFF is having a hard time post-breakup. The question, however, is what to text. After all, the last thing you want to do is make too much light of the situation, or trigger additional sadness or pain by bringing it up. Ultimately, the
best texts to send your friend are the ones that remind them that while it may not feel like it right now, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Ideally, they’re the kind of messages that inspire a little self-compassion or self-love, and perhaps even some much-needed laughter. When a relationship ends, it can feel like you’re in mourning for the love you lost. But as their best friend, you have the opportunity to fill some of that gap by showing them love in a different way.
Hoping to brighten your bestie’s day? Here are a few texts that maybe, just maybe, will
help ease the agony of their recent breakup.
There’s a lot of things your friend is probably missing from their previous relationship. You know — those little things we often take for granted until they’re gone. Case in point: The good morning/good night text.
If they were used to getting these from their past partner, they’re probably going through a little withdrawal. So why not send them one yourself? It may not be quite the same coming from you, but it’s bound to put a smile on their face. TBH, there’s nothing like waking up and being reminded that someone is thinking about you, even if it’s just a friend.
Let's hang tonight. Pizza or pad Thai?
Very often, we expect our friends to reach out to us when they’re struggling. But as you probably know from experience, that can be tough to do. Sometimes asking for a shoulder to lean on can make you feel uncomfortable. So, given that it may be tough for your bestie to ask for help, it’s a good idea to
reach out to them — that way, they don’t have to feel any more vulnerable than they already are. After asking whether they’re free tonight (or any night coming up), offer to bring some takeout over. They’ll likely be super grateful not only for your company, but also that you were proactive in making a plan to hang.
Wanna go on a social media cleanse with me?
Let’s be real: Social media is straight up brutal after you’ve gone through a bad breakup. If you still follow your ex on Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, Facebook, etc., not only do their photos, posts, and shares serve as constant reminders of them (when you’re trying your darndest to put them out of your mind), but there’s always a chance that you’ll see them with someone new. And honestly, even if you do hit “unfollow” or “unfriend,” you still may seem them pop up in mutual friends’ feeds.
Help your bestie to avoid some of the agony by suggesting
a pact to ditch the social media for two weeks, or a month, or however long you deem reasonable and realistic. As someone who once deleted Instagram for three months, let me tell you: It’s a cleanse that will come with perks for both you and your bestie. All that time you’d typically be scrolling through your feeds mindlessly can be used toward more productive activities. And best of all, you’ll help your friend to preserve some of your sanity during this painful time.
How’s that [insert passion project] going?
Sometimes, distractions can be the best way to deal during a breakup. Of course, that doesn’t mean ignoring one’s feelings entirely, but a split can cause all-consuming thoughts about your ex, and focusing on some other things can help with the healing process.
So, if it seems like all your friend talks about these days is their breakup/ex, inspire them to share updates on another area of their life to get their mind off their previous relationship. If you know they’ve been prepping for a big presentation or going on job interviews, for example, consider asking them how the grind is going. Or, if they mentioned re-decorating their apartment, you might enthusiastically ask for pics so you can see the progress. The point is to get them talking about something — anything — but their ex, and in the process, subconsciously remind them that they have other fulfilling, exciting things happening in their life.
Everything's gonna be OK.
When you’re going through a tough time, sometimes
all you need to hear is this simple reassurance.
You know the saying time heals everything? It may be a bit of a cliché, but it’s true — and odds are your bestie could use a quick reminder. Let them know that regardless of how hurt or hopeless they may feel right now, that every day is going to be OK. And every day will get a little easier. Bonus points if you can leverage personal experience to reinforce this. For example, sharing how long it took for you to move on, or when you started feeling like yourself again, after your last breakup may give them some peace of mind that it’s all uphill from here.
Obviously, there is no “perfect” text to send a BFF who’s just gone through a brutal breakup. Every person is different, and therefore, they may need to hear different things. But ultimately, what we all have in common is a deep desire to feel safe, loved, and appreciated. And any of the aforementioned texts will accomplish that, thereby helping your friend to potentially regain hope — and to heal — just a little bit faster.