Making a long-distance relationship work is no easy feat. As someone who's done it, I think it's actually one of the hardest relationship hurdles to overcome. Even if things are going well, it can be so easy to second guess whether or not you're both just wasting time together. That's why it's so important to know the signs your long-distance relationship is strong, even if things aren't perfect — because if you're making it work, then you and bae def deserve a pat on the back.
Whenever I would tell people I was in a long-distance relationship and was actually happy with the arrangement, I could almost immediately sense their skepticism. It seems like maintaining a successful long-distance relationship has been written off by many as virtually impossible. Everywhere you turn, it feels like someone always has something to say echoing the sentiment that "they just never work out in the end." However, after making long-distance work for nearly two years, I'm here to tell you that it's totally possible to maintain a strong partnership while living in different locations. If you're wondering whether or not your LDR is in a good place, despite the distance, here are some signs things are definitely moving in the right direction.
1. You make time to communicate with each other regularly.
A key part of tackling a LDR is making sure you're both willing to make regular communication with one another a priority. Since you aren't able to spend time together as often as a "normal" couple, video chatting and phone calls are of the utmost importance.
"Having a regular hangout where you know you’ll be able to see your partner will help you connect in ways that interacting via text or on social media doesn’t really allow for," relationship coach Adam Maynard told Elite Daily.
If you're both satisfied with the amount of quality time you spend together, then this is a great sign things are going well.
2. You're both honest about your needs.
Being honest about your needs and vice versa can make a huge difference in how smoothly things go in a LDR. Sure, you might still have disagreements and conflicts, but if you're being direct and open, then this is most definitely a good thing.
"It is so hard, yet so important, to talk with your partner about your feelings about the separation. It starts with acknowledging and accepting that you [are] physically apart and how it [affects] you, your partner and the relationship," flirting, dating, and relationship coach and author of Dating Again With Courage And Confidence, Fran Greene, told Elite Daily.
If your bae flakes on a Skype call and you're honest with them about how that made you feel, even if it's tough, this gives them a chance to improve — and ultimately, helps you both understand each other's needs better.
3. You have mutual goals.
"Knowing how the long-distance arrangement fits into your shared long-term goals is essential for navigating the distance successfully," said Maynard. "You know what purpose the time apart is serving, and the fact that you are both working toward the same end goal motivates you to endure the difficult parts.”
So, if you've come up with an agreed upon timeline for reuniting in the same city, then this means you are working toward a shared vision for the future. Having a plan, even if it changes, was the best way for me to let go of the worries I had about all of our sacrifices while my partner and I were apart.
4. The trust is there.
Another sign a LDR is working is that you both feel like you can totally trust each other. Having trust in your partner's actions and decision-making is so important, because if you don't, it's hard to keep doubt from creeping in and growing into suspicion or anxiety.
"You need to know that your partner is factoring your feelings and the health of the relationship into the decisions they’re making, or you’ll doubt the relationship even when there’s no real reason to," explained Maynard.
5. You're both satisfied.
In the end, the most important signal that a LDR is strong is that you are both happy. Naturally, some days are going to be more of a challenge than others and missing your bae is never going to not be a thing — but if you're still satisfied and focused on your future together, then that's certainly something to celebrate.
Being away from the person you love can be a huge test for a relationship, but if you've figured out how to stay strong and keep your eyes on the prize, there's no need to fret. Just keep doing what you're doing and it'll all be worth it in the end.