5 Places To Have Sex Outside Now That The Weather Is Kinda Nice
Right after joining the mile-high club (having sex on an airplane), most people fantasize about having sex outdoors. Call them what you will — thrill-seekers, adrenaline junkies, exhibitionists, or just life enthusiasts — these people are having the time of their lives, in the bedroom, in the cockpit (ha!), and everywhere else. Ideally though, the trick is to find places to hook up outside without getting caught because you can actually get arrested for this.
Criminal punishment for public indecency and lewdness includes up to 12 months in jail in some states, hefty fines, community service, and probation. If kids are present in the area, you'll also have to register as a sex offender on state and federal registries. So if you're going to proceed, do so with extreme caution.
I don't blame you for wanting to get outside after months of hiding out from the cold. Is it spring? Is it summer? Who knows? Who cares? All that matters is that it's finally warming up again. Blizzard sex is great and all but cabin fever is real. It's time for you and bae to heat things up with a lakeside smoke show, if you know what I mean. Here are five public places you might consider having sex now that the air doesn't hurt your face.
At The Park
Public parks, fields, forests, and gardens come in first on the list of top places to have sex in public, according to a survey of 1,000 people conducted by Zava. Go big or go home, am I right? Risk factor aside, this is actually a genius idea for a few reasons.
Firstly, there's tons of open space, which means that people tend to spread out as far and wide as they can at parks. It's unlikely that every inch of the park will be crowded with people, making it easy to find a quiet spot for two. Parks are also home to nature's roofs and walls — trees — so you can get down and dirty without anyone seeing you. The thing that really sets this hot spot apart from the others, though, is the fact that no one will question the large blanket you bring along with you to lay out. You're a daredevil but you still like to be comfortable.
At The Beach
Sure, you can take a blanket to the beach like you would to the park but then you have to worry about getting sand everywhere. Your best bet at the beach is to take the party to the water. The chances of anyone spotting you or recognizing what you're doing are fewer than if you were to try this back on land. I hope the thrill is worth it because water is a terrible lubricant.
On A Balcony Or Rooftop
After a few glasses of rosé on the rooftop, pretty much anything seems like a good idea. It's not the mile-high club but it'll do. Honestly, this is equally hot and romantic so I'm 100 percent behind this idea. Just don't try any crazy stunts too close to the edge. Can you imagine that news headline?
On A Football Field
I don't know much about sports but I do know that the Super Bowl was a few months ago, which means that football season is over. It's your turn to get rough on the field — no uniforms and no balls (unless, of course, you're into both of those sexually). Like I said, football isn't my thing so if you run into a training sesh or summer football camp while you're trying to score a touchdown with bae, don't say I didn't warn you.
In A Hot Tub
If you don't soak in a hot tub at least once, is it even summer? This is a must. Hot tub sex is actually fairly easy to execute since taking a giant bath with random strangers isn't everyone's cup of tea. If you and your partner get there first, the hot tub is all yours for at least an hour or two. Do your thing but keep it down. You don't want to draw attention to yourselves before you... run out of steam.
Cheers to warmer (and hotter) days ahead.