Over drinks one night, my friends and I dove into a conversation about sex bucket lists — as in, the list of all of the sexual acts you'd like to try at some point in life. One friend said that her list was less about things to do and more about places to do them, a sentiment with which everyone quickly agreed. Where were my lady friends dying to have sex, you ask? On mountaintops, pool tables, and — most popularly — on the beach. Because no, none of us had thought through how to have sex on the beach logistically, and therefore had failed to consider the fact that sand gets everywhere.
Seriously, everywhere. Like, all up inside of you.
TBH, I've never tried sex on the beach myself, but a friend of mine once described the sandy aftermath as "the feeling of rubbing a very scratchy body scrub in your vagina." So, there's that.
If a romp in the sand dunes is still at the top of your sex bucket list, though, don't worry: There are plenty of tricks to avoid this scratchy scrub effect. I chatted with adult film star Stirling Cooper to find out exactly which sex moves are best for sandy spots. He would know — having sex (sometimes) outdoors is something he does for a living.
"Don't go for any position where [the receiving partner] is laying on [their] back (missionary or spoon) because that's a guaranteed way to get sand in a rather uncomfortable place," Cooper recently explained to Elite Daily.
With that in mind, here are four moves to try instead, all designed to minimize sand-to-vag contact and maximize pleasure.
Ah, good, old-fashioned doggy style — the hero of all sexy beach encounters (wow, what a sentence).
The beautiful thing about doggy style is that it keeps everyone's most sensitive bits a safe distance away from the sand. All you've got to do is have the receiving partner get on all fours, and have the penetrating partner enter from behind. Better yet, if you're worried about getting caught (the fear is half the thrill, no?), you can do doggy-style without stripping down. Just lift up your dress or cover-up and you're good to go.
Fun fact: In seventh grade, my favorite song was "Save A Horse (Ride A Cowboy)" by Big & Rich, and I used to run around singing it at birthday parties. My friends' parents loved me, you guys.
That tidbit aside, horses aren't the only things you can save by riding cowboys (or girls), ladies: You can also save yourself, and your genitalia, the trouble of turning into a human sandbox.
For this position, have the penetrating partner lie on their back — ideally on a blanket or towel, as you don't want them getting sand in all of the wrong places, either — and have the receiving partner straddle and ride. Yeehaw.
As any self-respecting cowgirl can tell you, there's more than one way to ride a horse. (That sounds like something cowgirls would say, right? I feel like yes.)
If doggy-style's not your M.O., but you're looking to spice things up and put a (literal) spin on cowgirl, whip around and try reverse-cowgirl instead.
It's literally the same thing as cowgirl, the receiving partner just turns around so that their back is to the penetrating partner. To quote Missy Elliott, "Put that thing down, flip it, and reverse it."
If there is absolutely, positively no chance that children or strangers will stumble upon you (can you imagine?), get a little wild and 69 it, gals.
Have one partner lie on their back — again, on a blanket or towel — while the other partner straddles them from above, and perform oral sex on one another.
Important tip: It's possible to get STDs from oral sex, so don't forget to wear a condom or dental dam in this position as well.
Prepare to cross "Sex on the Beach" off of your sex bucket list.
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