The idea of sex therapy can seem off-putting to some people, and understandably so. You're supposed to walk in, chin high, sit down, and just start talking about your sex life, as if it's not the one thing you probably grew up hearing you shouldn't talk about because it's private. So how are you supposed to go in there and talk to a stranger about some of the most intimate moments of your life? Well, taking note of these totally normal things that happen at sex therapy may make the whole thing seem a little less daunting. There's nothing wrong with seeking professional help in any aspect of your life, so if you want to give sex therapy a try, even though it may seem scary, it can actually be incredibly beneficial for your sex life.
But before diving in, it's important to understand what sex therapy actually is. Does it teach you how to have sex? Do you learn every single Kamasutra sex position out there? Are you going to become a sex goddess after one session (even though you probably already are)? Not quite. "Typical sex therapy looks very similar to regular talk therapy, with the exception of that we ask and discuss sexual health issues," Sarah Watson, licensed counselor and sex therapist, tells Elite Daily. "In my experience, most therapists don't have training and education in sexual health or human sexuality. We do." Here's what you can expect from a regular session.
"You can expect to talk about sex! Many people are uncomfortable talking about sex, so that is an inherent benefit of seeing a sex therapist," sex therapist Stefani Threadgill, tells Elite Daily. "Without knowing it, you develop a comfort level talking about sex and exploring your sexuality that you can then share with your partner."
If you've been trying to tell your partner what you want in bed, but haven't been able to get the words out properly, going to a few sex therapy sessions may help. It can give you the chance to practice saying what it is you want, and hopefully get your sexual needs met.
"Our sexuality is a vulnerability, so you are often overcoming general issues while working through a sexual concern," Threadgill explains. "For example, we may discuss body image issues in the bedroom."
The fact of the matter is, being vulnerable with someone or even with yourself can be incredibly difficult. If you're overly concerned with how you look naked with your partner, it may take away from your intimacy with each other. The less self-conscious you are in the bedroom, the more you may be able to truly enjoy yourself with bae, and sex therapy can help you with that.
I know what you're thinking: You already finished school, you really do not want more homework. But this is ~fun~ homework! "Book excerpts, articles, films, and other resources... You may even receive an RX for sex!" Threadgill says. "One advantage of being a sex therapist… I cannot prescribe medication, but I can prescribe sex!" TBH, I'll take that prescription any day.
Some sex therapists may have resources you can use throughout your sessions as a reference, or even just for fun. Threadgill says she has samples of lube, a model of the clitoris, and a coloring book of "anatomical sexy parts." Sex therapy "involves a lot of sex education, including sex myths debunked," she says. "Many of my patients have had an aversion to a sexual activity only to discover their resistance is rooted in something they heard rather than experienced firsthand."
If you consider starting sex therapy, remember it's normal to feel a bit intimated. "Much of the content that patients share, they have never told anyone, [but] my office is a safe space without bias or judgment," Threadgill says. "I have heard it all!" Honestly, most, if not all, sex therapists have probably heard it all, for real. You have no reason to be worried when it comes to opening up to them. It might even make it easier to view your sex therapist as a parent you can talk to or a more experienced friend — except, they're doctors! You truly get the best of both worlds, so don't hesitate to reach out to them if you need help.
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