4 Questions To Ask Your Summer Fling, So You Can Get On The Same Page
Nothing's more fun than a solid summer fling who keeps you wanting more. Having someone who's down to hang out and consistently hookup during the warmer months is usually the perfect situationship when you're not looking for something serious. However, we all know how the story goes. Sometimes, your feels start to make you wonder if your casual summer bae could turn into something more serious. Once you start to see relationship potential, there are some questions to ask your summer fling that can help you suss out if you're on the same page.
It's no secret that starting a conversation about an undefined relationship can be really scary, especially if your feelings have gotten strong. But don't fret. The purpose of the conversation shouldn't be to push for a commitment, but rather, to see where their feelings are. "The conversation should have a natural flow to see if you’re on the same page about how you’re feeling... to take it a step up, and not for the purposes of planning your entire future together, or not," online dating expert Julie Spira previously told Elite Daily. "That can kill a relationship and send someone running for the hills." So, keeping the conversation vibe relaxed and avoiding unnecessary pressure is key. Here are some questions you can ask someone you've been casually seeing, to gauge how they're feeling about a potential relationship.
1. "What are your plans for the future?"
Coming right out and asking a casual bae if they want to be your SO might be hard for some people. Asking about their future is a good way to keep things broad while also getting clued-into their current priorities.
"Getting a sense of what they are looking for, talking about future hopes and dreams, where they see themselves, how they would like to spend their days, what they want to do in their free time, how they relate to their family... is a great information-gathering exercise," wellbeing coach Shula Melamed, MA, MPH, previously told Elite Daily.
2. "I've really enjoyed spending time with you, how's it been for you?"
Letting your fling know that you've enjoyed spending time with them is a low-key way to communicate that it's been about more than just the physical perks for you. Asking them about your shared moments from their perspective also gives them the chance to talk about any feelings they might have without applying too much pressure.
3. "What elements of a relationship are most important to you?"
According to noted psychotherapist Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, posing meaningful questions is a signal that someone's interested in a more substantial relationship. "What kind of things are important to you in a relationship? [Or,] what have you learned from your past relationships about what you need?" are both questions that can hint at a desire to take things in a serious direction Dr. Wish previously told Elite Daily. Their answer could also shed light on if you're compatible on a deeper level.
4. "Are you open to being in a relationship?"
In the end, you can only beat around the bush for so long. If you've tried to coax them into talking about where they see your relationship going, then it might be time to take a more transparent approach. Ultimately, if even talking about the possibility of a relationship freaks them out, then it's better to know sooner rather than later. And if they tell you they don't want a relationship, believe them. "If a person makes [it] known that they are not looking for something serious, listen to that," Chicago-based matchmaker Stefanie Safran previously told Elite Daily. "People usually don't say things that they don't mean."
Finding yourself wanting more out of a casual relationship can be a really nerve-wracking feeling to have. However, it's so much better to start a dialogue about it instead of trying to keep it all in. This way, if they aren't on the same page, you can move on without regrets.