The Best Tip For Defining The Relationship Is Simple, Experts Say
If you've been dating someone amazing for some time, and think you both are at the point where you want to define your relationship, there are some things you may want to consider first. Defining the relationship makes the two of you official, and you want to be sure you know enough about that person and are confident in your feelings for them to DTR. If you're looking for the best tip for defining the relationship, I spoke to several dating experts to get their best advice.
Julie Spira, online dating expert, said that you should keep in mind defining the relationship is not a marriage commitment. Take it easy and try not to stress, since the commitment isn't completely life-altering for you.
"The conversation should have a natural flow to see if you’re on the same page about how you’re feeling about your SO, to take it a step up, and not for the purposes of planing your entire future together, or not," Spira tells Elite Daily. "That can kill a relationship and send someone running for the hills."
While you want to not put too much stress on the conversation, be sure to allow yourself some vulnerability in the process. In Samantha Burns' book, Breaking Up & Bouncing Back, she speaks to the necessity of showing some of your cards when entering a relationship.
"One person has to be brave and show their cards first in order to move forward," Burns writes in her book. "Hiding your true feelings for too long can stunt the growth of the relationship and prevent one from ever forming. Relationships require effort, and you’ll never know what you can be together if you don’t take the risk to go all in."
For other factors, like timing, and milestones to hit first, there are other things to keep in mind as well.
Spira says that timing is pretty important when determining when or if you should define the relationship.
"Chances are if you’re feeling connected and have a flow with your partner that seems to be going in the right direction, they’ll feel the same way as well," she says. "Rushing into the convo isn’t a great idea, it’s good to have it when both of you are relaxed, not getting ready from work, or coming home from a long stressful day at the office."
Nicole Richardson, licensed marriage and family therapist, told Elite Daily that there aren't specific things you need to look out for to happen before defining a relationship with someone, so there's no pressure to DTR at the "right" time. Don't watch the clock waiting for however many number of months to pass or stress about meeting the family before having that DTR conversation. Determine what the right time is solely by when you feel you've gotten to know the person, want to commit to them, and feel it's the right time.
"There isn't a perfect way to do it," Richardson said. "There isn't a certain number of time or dates or milestones. It's when your partner is showing up the way you need them to to feel safe."
So if you're about to define your relationship with your partner, remember what these experts said and good luck! You might not be relationship-official quite yet, but you're officially prepared to DTR soon.
Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!