I've been rushing around lately wondering how it's already August?! I'm getting the same feeling I do on Sunday afternoons when it starts to dawn on me that Monday is about to happen. August reminds me that summer is almost over, which is a bummer. That's why I'm doing my best to enjoy the rest of the month while wishing it was possible to preserve some of the best parts of summer. I wonder... Can you make your tan last? Can you convince your boss to keep summer Friday hours? And can your summer fling turn into a relationship?
I can't help you with the tan or your boss, but I do know a thing or two about summer flings. What began as something fun, casual, and light-hearted has started to feel a little bit more real. You and your fling are spending more time together, you've stopped checking your dating apps as often as you usually do, and maybe you're feeling less flippant about the whole thing. Assuming you and your fling aren't flinging at a temporary summer house location and actually live in the same city, here's how to tell if your fling has long-term on the brain.
1. They want to know more about you. You're interesting to them and they're curious about you. Most people are better talkers than they are listeners, but if they're asking questions and listening to the answers, that means they want to know what makes you you.
2. They think about you when you're not together. If you get a text out of nowhere asking how you're doing, what you're up to, or just a simple "Hi," that means you're on their mind.
3. There's just a vibe. You can just tell.
4. They start using "we" like, "We've got to try that new tapas place."
5. They talk about the future. Even making plans a few weeks in advance, like making sure you're cool with doing an escape room for an upcoming birthday party, means they're thinking about their future and you're in it.
6. They literally say, "Let's be exclusive."
7. They introduce you to their people. Meeting the friends is a step towards building a relationship and introducing you to their community isn't taken lightly. Unless, of course, when meeting you the friends say "Which one is this?"
8. You start to get into a routine. You hit the same brunch place, you have their address in your Postmates app, and it's assumed you'll be hanging out most nights.
9. Your stuff is at their place and their stuff is at yours. If you accidentally left an earring or pair of underwear at their place, it doesn't mean you've got a future together. But if you've got contact solution or a toothbrush in the bathroom, then that's a good sign.
10. You don't always have sex. Flings are flings because they're fun, quick, and passionate - AKA full of sex. When you have a great night together and are having a sleepover and you don't have sex, that means sex is no longer the defining reason you two are together. There's more to it now.
So while it's a given that summer is on the way out, if your fling is exhibiting any of the behaviors above, there's a good chance you guys have staying power. If you're not sure, first of all decide what you want and then check in with them. If they're not sure, I wouldn't start planning your couple's Halloween costume just yet, but just enjoy the rest of August and, most importantly, have fun.
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