Some people live for the flowers just because, the lunch box love notes, and the sappy Instagram captions on your latest envy-inducing couple's pic. Others, on the other hand, are less likely to appreciate such moves. It's not that they don't feel love just as strongly — they just show it and experience it in a very different way. The Myers-Briggs personality types who think romance is cheesy are more likely to appreciate practical support than grand gestures. In other words, with these types, you may need to pump the brakes on all those mushy texts and consider showing your affection in a new way.
Here's the thing about romance: It's pretty difficult to define because every person has a different idea of what's truly romantic, and that's where love languages come into play. While one person may love when their partner expresses their adoration verbally, another person may prefer when their SO helps them out with something or makes physical contact. That said, according to The Oxford Dictionary, romance is defined as "a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love." And while some people may express those feelings freely, that may simply not come naturally to non-romantic types.
With all that in mind, you may want to think twice before you pen an epic love letter to one of these Myers-Briggs types.
Loyal, dedicated, patient, and honest — ESTJs have quite a few qualities that make them excellent partners. Just don’t expect them to lay on the romance. To The Executive, following through on their commitments and building mutual respect are the most romantic things in the world. While they may not be excellent at expressing their feelings for you verbally, they’ll show them through their actions — in fact, there’s hardly anything they won’t do for you.
The ESTJ is hardly spontaneous, so they’re also not the type to take you on an impromptu romantic getaway, or suddenly stray from their carefully organized date plan. That’s because this personality type values order and predictability. Sometimes, they struggle to relax, and they get so focused on the facts over feelings that they may come across as stoic. While the ESTJ may not be super touchy-feely, they have their own unique way of demonstrating how much they care about you: by doing exactly what they say they’re going to do, and putting in a tremendous amount of effort to gain and keep your trust.
If there’s one thing you can say about The Logistician, it’s that they’re incredibly hard working. So, when they start dating someone, they’ll basically do whatever it takes to demonstrate their commitment and reliability. But this personality type is far more concerned with finding someone who shares their life goals and relationship objectives and can keep up in their in-depth intellectual discussions than they are with romance.
ISTJs are super practical and direct: They like to do things by the book. Sometimes, they can seem blunt, but that’s because they’d always prefer that their SO is totally honest with them than sugar coat things in an attempt to avoid hurt feelings.
While The Logistician may be reserved, risk-averse, and less inclined to perform romantic gestures due to their rational nature, they’re also devoted partners who pour a ton of thought, time, and energy into their relationships.
The Architect is super knowledgeable, driven, and independent — and all of those traits can make them seem sexy in the context of dating. While their sharp mind and soaring confidence is definitely attractive, they can be a little oblivious when it comes to setting the scene for romance. Blame it on their tendency to overanalyze everything and make (as well as stick to) rigid plans. BTW — they don't like surprises, and they'd rather have a useful or practical gift than one with sentimental value.
Ultimately, the INTJ’s ideal relationship includes plenty of personal space and stability. And since it’s the mental connection that turns them on the most, their idea of romance is diving into deep theoretical discussions about a range of topics.
Just because the INTJ is hyper-straightforward and logical by nature doesn’t mean they aren’t caring, feeling individuals. They simply place a much higher value on truth and strategic thinking than on sentiment (which they sometimes consider silly) or time-honored traditions. While The Architect may come across as distant at times, the reality is that they take a little more time to drop their guard and let someone in. But if you can respect their need for independence, prove you’re equally dependable, and learn to appreciate their directness, the rewards of dating an INTJ are plentiful — not only will they help you to achieve your goals with gusto, but you can rest assured that they’ll be loyal AF.