An Expert Reveals How To Set The Mood For Romantic Valentine's Day Sex

by Jamie LeeLo
Simone Becchetti

Well everybody, here we all are. Today's the big one, the whole enchilada: Valentine's Day.

Today is designed for lovers to come together, remind themselves why they adore one another and, presumably, fuck like animals.

In fact, based on Elite Daily's reader survey, only 14 percent of women and 6 percent of men say they don't care about having sex on Valentine's Day, which leaves a pretty high percentage of people out there planning on doing the dirty tonight.

Of course, like on a lot of holidays, there can be high pressure to perform on a day like today, when romance and intimacy are the main focus.

So, how can you set the mood for SPECIAL sex on Valentine's Day? Luckily, I talked to an expert who had some GREAT advice.

Couples therapist Emmalee Bierly, MFT, specializes in sex therapy and suggests, when setting the mood for this evening's rompings, the best thing you can do is take your five senses into consideration:


Kylah Benes-Trapp

Bierly suggests setting your visual scene, so it's soothing and peaceful to look at. Remove anything taking up unnecessary space, and get that mood lighting just right.

"Try cleaning up and decluttering the area that your physical intimacy will occur and feel free to throw some candles in there. If [you] or your partner are sensitive to smells, consider getting unscented candles," she says.


Kylah Benes-Trapp

If you're going to get loud, it can't hurt to play some tunes so you don't disturb the neighbors. Just make sure both people can get down with the playlist!

According to Bierly, "Some people may find it corny to play music but also worry they can't let their freak flag fly because the neighbors will hear. Try out some tunes, and if you hate it or find it distracting, simply turn it off."


Kylah Benes-Trapp

Look, if you're going to be swapping spit all night, make it good.

She says, "Especially in long term relationships, sometimes, we get too comfortable. What would you do if it was a first date? You'd probably brush your teeth before, so go for that!"


Kylah Benes-Trapp

Even if you're tempted to go the musky, vanilla route for sexy time, stick to the classics. Clean, crisp scents will be inviting and keep you energized for the whole night.

Bierly explains, "Try out a light lavender or clean linen spray on your sheets and pillowcases."


Kylah Benes-Trapp

Yup, you guessed it. This means foreplay. Play with different areas of the body, pressures and textures, and see what gets your partner most excited.

Bierly says,

Focus on the foreplay. Use a feather, a soft scarf or pair of underpants, and have your partner close their eyes as you gently stroke them with the item. Start in an area typically given less attention, like the back of the calves or forearm, and slowly move to more intimate and sensual areas of the neck, stomach and inner thighs. Check in with your partner throughout the activity to see if there are any areas where they may want some extra attention, too!

Of course, Bierly warns there is only so much you can do, given how the day plays out.

For example, if you come home and find your partner has had a terrible day, or you've had a fight with a family member or boss, there is only so much that can be done to turn the mood into something sexy.

The moral is, don't force it if it just isn't going to happen.

Go get 'em, Cupids!