I don't like feelings.
Honestly, if I had a choice, I probably would like to ignore the fact that they exist altogether. Expressing my feelings makes me feel vulnerable, and I always worry telling people how I feel will just drive them away.
By being vulnerable, I open myself up to being hurt... not to mention, I don't actually know HOW to begin expressing how I feel.
Chances are, you have someone in your life like this, and you're always wondering what this person is thinking. You want to help when they're upset, but you actually have no idea what to do or how to approach them.
Well, here's what the people who can't express their feelings would like you to know:
1. They're actually really sensitive.
Most of the time, people don't even realize they've hurt me because I haven't said anything about it. But honestly, the people who hide their feelings don't NOT have any... in fact, quite the opposite.
Those who have trouble expressing their feelings are probably hurt a lot, and they're extremely sensitive to even the smallest issues. They find it exhausting to deal with these emotions all the time, so they think the best thing to do is just not say anything and hope it will pass.
It usually doesn't, though.
2. Just because they don't express their feelings, that doesn't mean they're not hurt.
They'll get quiet or shy. Maybe they'll cry alone in their room, or watch a sad or sappy movie.
They'll find their own ways to deal with things... but they definitely won't tell you about it.
3. Being vulnerable scares them.
Even though I KNOW I should just suck it up and say what's on my mind, even the thought of opening up and confronting how I feel fills me with a ton of dread. I always get these butterflies in my stomach before any emotional conversation, and my heart just DROPS.
I get embarrassed, as if I don't have the right to feel the way I do. This is simply an involuntary physical response at this point, and I have no idea what to do about it.
4. They think brushing off their feelings makes the pain feel less "real."
Feelings are scary, and I guess a lot of the time, they're supposed to be. But we live in a world where being upset about things can many times be taken as a sign of weakness.
So, because we can't STOP feeling the way we do, we just don't talk about it. The people who can't express their feelings think if they stay quiet, they'll stop feeling those scary, unwanted emotions.
Expressing what we're feeling just makes things so much more final.
5. They hope you get it on your own.
While I completely agree that passive-aggressiveness isn't the best way to solve a problem, people who don't express their feelings usually can't find better ways to cope. It's like they magically want you to realize they're upset and fix things, without saying a word.
They want to be acknowledged, but they can't find the words to express what they're feeling. They're too emotionally closed off to even begin to explain their issues.
6. They weren't always like this.
Chances are, the guy or girl who can't express his or her feelings most likely used to be VERY emotional. But something happened along the way.
Maybe someone close to them passed away, or maybe they went through a breakup that closed them off from expressing how upset they were. Maybe a friend betrayed them, and they can't really imagine they won't get hurt again.
So, they've built a wall around their heart in order to protect it. But if you try hard enough, maybe you'll be able to break it down.