Illuminati Conspiracy Theories About JAY-Z's '4:44' Will Make You Question Everything

by Anna Menta
Clive Brunskill/Getty Images

That didn't take long: Less than 24 hours after JAY-Z dropped his new album, 4:44, there are already Illuminati theories about it.

And yes, these theories are making question things, such as the continued existence of humanity.

Guys! Beyoncé told you y'all were being corny with that Illuminati sh*t! Why are we doing this again?! Sigh. Fine. I guess we're doing this.

So, there's been this really long-running, pretty annoying conspiracy theory that JAY and Bey are members of the Illuminati, AKA a secret society that is trying to take over the world.

Even before the release, fans were trying desperately to find subtle Illuminati references.

Some were saying that "4-4-4" is a reference to 6-6-6. There's also the JAY-Z song, "22 Twos," from his 1996 album Reasonable Doubt.  So 2 + 4 = 6.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, for the rationally-minded) that theory was crushed today when JAY revealed the origin of the "4:44" song and album name: the time he woke up in the middle of the night to write the song.

Now that the album has officially been release, conspiracy theorist are still trying it. Here are a few of my favorites reaches:




Nope, nope, nope.


Of course, thankfully there are still heroes out there mocking this Illuminati thing for the nonsense that it is.

So can we chill with this, please? I don't want Bey to have admonish you all again -- because that was pretty dang embarrassing.

Let's focus on some things that are real about this album: JAY-Z basically confirmed he cheated on Bey, he explained that elevator confrontation with Solange, he maybe dissed Kim Kardashian, he said his newborn twins are natural, and Gloria Carter is a bonafide, beautiful lesbian.

Oh and also, the music. There's also that, I guess.

Anyways, the point is: Let's stick to the memes, drama, gossip, and other fun times, and leave the Illuminati out of this, friends.