How Much It Costs To Be A Showgirl, According To Miss Piggy
It’s not easy being moi.
Taylor Swift is peeling back the curtain on what a showgirl’s life is all about with her 12th studio album, out on Oct. 3. The aptly titled The Life of a Showgirl is a collaboration between Swift, Max Martin, and Shellback, who last worked together on 2017’s Reputation.
Leading up to its release, Swift unveiled vinyl variants of The Life of a Showgirl with extra glam details. “We wanted this album to feel really luxurious as a nod to the luxury that a showgirl puts on when she's on the stage,” she said in a clip posted to Taylor Nation’s Instagram. One person — or shall I say, pig — who knows everything about the opulent lifestyle of a showgirl is Miss Piggy.
Since the album’s announcement in August, the iconic Muppet character has been compared to visuals of Swift’s Showgirl by fans on TikTok. Even Miss Piggy posted on IG, “As someone who’s been living The Life of a Showgirl for countless eras, I simply could not be more excited for Taylor Swift’s new album!!!”
As Swifties prepare to enter their own showgirl era on Oct. 3, it only makes sense to look to Miss Piggy for some inspiration on how to live the glam life. Below, you’ll find a breakdown of how much it costs to live like a showgirl for a day.
The Long-Term Expenses: Miss Piggy Lets Kermit Handle Things
The Muppets have several residences in places like New York City and Los Angeles, as seen in their movies and TV shows, so it’s hard to determine what Miss Piggy’s long-term housing expenses are. However, it’s probably safe to say that she’s not managing any of the finances and leaves that job to Kermit, so you’re off the hook there.
The one thing she does take care of is her little dog, Foo-Foo. A 15-pound bag of dog food delivered each month is around $26 from Chewy, so that’s less than $1 a day. She also has her own chauffeur to drive her around, which on average costs around $271 a day.
Total: $272
A Showgirl Needs Her Beauty Rest
10 a.m.-12 p.m.: Most showgirls work at night — like when Swift takes the stage on the Eras Tour — so they’re able to sleep in a bit. According to Today, Miss Piggy revealed in 2017 that she actually starts her morning in the afternoon. “I typically wake up sometime in the middle of the afternoon. Oh sure, I may get out of bed in the morning, but I’m basically walking in my sleep until that third or fourth café mocha kicks in.” One mocha from Starbucks is about $6, so while Miss Piggy is sleepwalking, she’d spend about $24 on her morning java until it woke her up around noon.
12-3 p.m.: In the same interview, Miss Piggy revealed that the first thing she does after waking up is spend “several hours” in her closet finding the perfect outfit. It takes time to look that glorious, but she said, “Once I’m dressed, watch out world!”
Miss Piggy is a designer girlie, so she’d pick out something fabulous like the lavender, feathered Miu Miu look she wore for Love magazine in 2017. Swift has also been spotted in Miu Miu recently, so she’d approve. Something with plenty of sequins for Miss Piggy’s taste would be this $11,000 embroidered marocain dress. She’s also known for sporting long satin gloves, like this pair from Cornelia James for $175.
Something else Miss Piggy has in common with Swift is they both love wearing custom designed Christian Louboutin shoes. While Swift often prefers boots on stage, Miss Piggy has been seen wearing her Jenny platform pumps many times. A similar pair are these gold Sandaloo sandals for $1,295. The final touch would be some bling. Miss Piggy has an enviable jewelry collection that includes some pieces from nOir after a collaboration in 2011. Something she might wear today would include a bracelet ($350) and ring ($80) over her gloves. She’d also throw on some pearls, like this necklace from Miu Miu for $1,020.
3-4 p.m.: All dressed and ready to go, Miss Piggy would then start on her makeup routine. She doesn’t need a lot since she was born camera-ready, but Miss Piggy loves some eyeshadow, lashes, and rouge on her cheeks. When it comes to products, Miss Piggy had a collab with MAC Cosmetics in 2011, so she’s obviously a MAC girl — just like Swift during the 1989 era. Her full routine would include lashes ($16), purple eyeshadow ($25), a pink blush ($34), and waterproof mascara ($29).
Total: $14,048
Miss Piggy’s Afternoon At Home
4:15 p.m.: In her 1981 book, Miss Piggy’s Guide to Life, the Muppet showgirl shared that she likes to snack throughout the day on things like cookies, peanuts, crackers, cheese dip, breadsticks, cake, seltzer, pickles, potato chips, and a PB&J. All of this from the grocery store would cost around $115, if you were going to Instacart it. And let’s be real, Miss Piggy doesn’t have time to go to the store. Of course, she would have it delivered.
5 p.m.: While eating Miss Piggy would Snackcercise, or work out while chowing down. This wouldn’t cost you anything, though you might want to throw on some workout clothes like a purple bodysuit ($78), leggings ($118), headband ($14), and leg warmers ($20). After moving around, Miss Piggy would treat herself to some chocolate ($2). She told Today, “I’ve discovered that if you eat enough chocolate, you stop feeling guilty about it. Isn’t that fabulous?”
Total: $347
Miss Piggy’s Night At The Muppet Theatre
7 p.m.: As a showgirl, Miss Piggy would need to make her way to the Muppet Theatre via her chauffeur. The Muppet Show is actually returning to Disney+ next year for an event special with Sabrina Carpenter, so you’ll get to see exactly what Miss Piggy does on stage alongside the singer featured on The Life of a Showgirl. In between, she’d spend her time backstage reapplying some of her makeup in a feather robe ($500).
9 p.m.: For showtime, Miss Piggy would throw on her costume. She’s worn designer clothes from Prada to Ralph Lauren. She’s also a fan of Vivienne Westwood, who designed Swift’s ‘fit for The Tortured Poets Department set on The Eras Tour — which gave major showgirl vibes. With that in mind, Miss Piggy would wear something like this white dress from Vivienne Westwood for $1,395. To complete the look, she’d throw on a feather boa ($445).
10:30 p.m.: At the end of the night, Miss Piggy would get ready for bed by doing some skin care. In Miss Piggy’s Guide to Life, she shared her facial mousse recipe that includes mocha, cooking chocolate, confectioners sugar, eggs, and cream — which is about $53 at the grocery store. She also uses soft towels with her initials embroidered on them for about $50 at Pottery Barn.
11 p.m.: For bed, Miss Piggy wears silk pajamas ($328), a silk eye mask ($40), and a second, different feather robe ($1,750), because this one’s for home. After a long day of being fabulous, she’d fall right asleep.
Total: $4,561
TL;DR: Miss Piggy Is Living The Dream
Miss Piggy is rolling with a budget like Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl. She’s not too worried about expenses, because she knows the rest of the Muppets will take care of things. Of course, she still shows up for her performances and gets the job done, because she’s a hardworking woman. In her free time, though, she’d rather be relaxing with her designer jewels, clothes, and pantry full of snacks.
One lyric from Swift’s The Life of a Showgirl was spotted at her NYC Spotify pop-up, which read: “Oftentimes, it doesn't feel so glamorous to be me.” It seems Swift might need some advice from Miss Piggy on how to live the fabulous life of a showgirl on and off stage.
Total: $19,228
