10 Myths About Bisexuality That We Need To Bust Right Now
If our most-used phrases suddenly started appearing all over our bodies, the phrase "sexuality is so friggin' weird" would 100 percent show up on my forehead.
As sexuality can be a confusing web of feelings and definitions to figure out, it's easy to get lost in the myths that have grown to surround certain identities — especially bisexuality.
Unfortunately, the actual MythBusters were too busy to take on the bisexuality beast, so you have the next best thing: me, a living, breathing bisexual.
Here are 10 myths surrounding bisexuality that need to be busted for good.
1. Bisexuality doesn't exist.
This is the most heinous myth of all, mostly because my fellow bisexuals and I are trying exceptionally hard to exist out here.
Contrary to the belief of an inordinate amount of actual people in the world, bisexuality is definitely a real, valid thing.
Someone's sexuality is not a made-up thing. It's not a phase. It's not a label people just slap on because some C-list celebrity no one's actually heard of said it was a cool thing to be.
Bisexuality is a type of sexual attraction — one that about 7 percent of people surveyed identified as in a 2016 study conducted by the Centers for Disease Control (CDC).
2. Bisexuals will always end up gay.
Yes, there are a few very valid reasons someone who identifies as gay or lesbian may have first come out as bisexual.
First, sexuality is a complex discovery process. And because every person comes to figure out their sexuality differently (and because of our predominantly heteronormative culture), gay or lesbian individuals may have discovered their attraction to the same gender while still under the influence of compulsory heterosexuality.
Second, in the case where someone isn't sure how a sexuality may be perceived by those around them, some people may feel comfortable coming out as "also being interested in men/women" before feeling comfortable coming out as gay or lesbian.
AND THIS IS TOTALLY FINE. However, this is not the case for every bisexual person. If someone comes out to you as bisexual, you have no reason to believe that they are or will ever be a different sexuality, until they tell you otherwise.
3. Bisexuals are "half gay" and "half straight."
Bisexuals aren't "half" anything when it comes to sexualities.
Bisexuals are 100 percent bisexual, and 100 percent over this bullsh*t line of thinking. And 100 percent of the time, we experience attraction to both men and women, MEANING, 100 percent of the time, we are indeed bisexual.
4. Bisexuals are only bisexual if they've dated the same gender before.
If we all said no one was straight until they made out behind a tree with someone of the opposite gender, then maybe we could actually nix the whole "assumed straight until proven otherwise" debacle.
But alas, straight is still the general assumed sexuality, and here we are.
You CAN feel attraction to a certain gender without ever having dated them before, believe it or not. If this weren't the case, kids in high school wouldn't be f*cking like rabbits the second they look at each other.
5. Someone is automatically bisexual if they hook up with someone of the same gender.
On the other end of the "has no clue what they're talking about" spectrum, we have the people who assume that just because a girl kissed another girl one time in 2006, that means that girl is automatically bisexual.
And to assume so would be foolish.
Sexuality, attraction, and even curiosity are all fluid. This means there's absolutely nothing wrong with experimentation, especially because sexuality can be a confusing web to figure out. However, a person actively trying to sort out their feelings toward others doesn't automatically assign that person a sexuality.
6. Bisexuals aren't bisexual if they end up in a relationship with the opposite gender.
This myth definitely stems from the "half gay, half straight" myth. And in case we are in need a refresher: Someone's relationship status is not always an indicator of their sexuality.
That being said, a bisexual person is still bisexual if they're in a relationship with the opposite gender because — get this, you're gonna love it — BISEXUALS ARE ATTRACTED TO TWO GENDERS.
And like I've said a thousand times up until this point, this means bisexuals!!! are!!! still!!! bisexual!!! no matter!!! whom!!! they date!!!
7. Bisexuals are more likely to cheat on their partners.
Someone who's bisexual is no more likely to cheat on their partner than any person you see walking down the street.
A person's attraction to two genders has no affect on their ability to conduct themselves in a relationship. Just like any person loves and cares for one person in a monogamous relationship, so does a bisexual person in a monogamous relationship, regardless of their current partner's gender.
Cheating has nothing to do with a person's sexuality. Rather, cheating has everything to do with someone's character. So perhaps we should all spend less time worrying about someone's sexuality and more time wondering whether or not someone's a shitty person.
8. Bisexuals are always interested in threesomes.
There's no flowery way to explain this myth away. But let it be known, bisexuals are not necessarily always interested in threesomes.
Someone's particular interest in a threesome is, of course, up to them and only them. However, wanting to get freaky with two people at the same time is not a damn prerequisite for being bisexual.
For example, just because you're attracted to more than one guy in the world, doesn't necessarily mean you want to f*ck them at the same time (but maybe you do, IDK, MAN).
Similarly, just because you're attracted to two genders, doesn't mean you want to do everything with both genders at the same time.
9. Bisexuals have to be interested in men and women equally.
Bisexuality merely involves sexual attraction to two genders. It does NOT dictate which gender you typically date or which gender you prioritize.
Luckily for me, this means if I want to prioritize dating girls, I don't suddenly get kicked out of the bisexuality club. (Thank God, that club is my LIFE, you guys.)
And why is this? Because I STILL feel attraction toward guys, EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT ACTIVELY DATING THEM.
It's amazing how we can make personal choices about our dating lives while still identifying as the same thing, isn't it?
10. Bisexuality and pansexuality are the same thing.
Because sexuality is a pretty vast spectrum, and because people are constantly learning ways in which they can comfortably identify themselves, it's normal to get a little confused.
But it's time to set this particular record straight: Bisexuality and pansexuality are two different things.
While bisexuality involves attraction to two different genders, pansexuality involves attraction to people regardless of their gender. A pansexual person doesn't feel sexually attracted to someone because they're a man, a woman, non-binary, transgender, etc. Instead, they're sexually attracted to other aspects of a person, like their personality.
So if there's anything to be remembered about bisexuality, it's that this identity is real. It's valid. And it's definition is pretty self-explanatory.
And if we could all stay in our lanes, and accept that these common myths need to be eradicated, the world — and bisexuals — would be much, much happier.