I'm calling it: Tay Tay, you're a LIAR.
I love Taylor. I do. I love her enough to usually give her the benefit of the doubt.
When Kanye claimed to have Taylor's permission to call her a bitch in “Famous,” I stood by her. When Taylor and Calvin broke up, I was there (well, not physically there because that's creepy, but you know what I mean.)
However, this time, Taylor, you went a bit too far.
Yesterday, The Sun published photos of my girl Tay with English nerdgasm Tom Hiddleston. They were spotted “snogging" (whatever, I'm British now) and canoodling on a random shore in Rhode Island. He appeared to help her up a bunch of rocks and offer her his jacket. They then pecked around like two seagulls some more.
THIS IS THE STUFF OF NICHOLAS SPARKS DREAMS, Y'ALL.
EXCLUSIVE: Pals say Calvin Harris feels 'betrayed' over Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston https://t.co/j3YLymSnjd pic.twitter.com/GwfFqBcd9o — The Sun (@TheSun) June 16, 2016
At first, I assumed she was shooting a music video. Tom makes a hot leading man and he encapsulates the wet dreams of everyone who stalked Fanfiction.net for the past decade.
He's also relatively drama-free; no one takes the time to actually dislike him. He's charming and likable, which make him perfect for Taylor to have in her squad.
Except she wasn't shooting a video. This was real. Or as real as a staged photo op can be.
She takes an entirely different approach to paparazzi than most celebrities do. It's all about business.
He also added,
My first instinct when seeing the pictures of Taylor and Tom is that they are definitely staged.
I agree. I mean, there are just too many clues.
Apart from Taylor and Tom, the biggest news story of the day was Kim Kardashian's interview with GQ. In the interview, Kim called Taylor out, saying T Swift “totally approved” Kanye's line directed at her in “Famous." Kim even claimed to have video footage of the phone call that took place documenting the whole thing.
Even more incriminating, Taylor's team allegedly reached out to Kanye and asked him to destroy the footage and never release it to the public. If that's not super shady on Taylor's part, I don't know what is.
Additionally, there are the photos themselves. Every single photo is just a little too cute. Come on: Tom puts his jacket around her, gives her a small kiss, helps her up and down from a rock. It comes off forced. Way too forced.
Plus, Taylor seems way too smart. In an interview with Chuck Klosterman for GQ, Taylor was accused of being too "calculating.” The entire interview goes on to prove this theory -- from the way she reacts to Justin Timberlake's call to the way she describes her relationship with various men in her life.
I'm sorry, but a “calculating” person isn't just going to let some paparazzo snap photos of her with her new beau just a few weeks after breaking up with her former one, especially after being accused of jumping from man to man in the past.
This kind of behavior is particularly dumb when coming from a person who's basically a branding mastermind, you know? Twitter seems to agree.
Conspiracy theory: Taylor Swift wants Oscar for Bond song (last two won Oscars) so dates presumptive Bond nominee Tom Hiddleston. — Tufayel Ahmed (@tufayel) June 16, 2016
If Taylor swift breaks up with Tom Hiddleston, will she join the Avengers? #conspiracy — Jun (@JWx666) June 16, 2016
So I'm not the only one who thinks that the Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston photos are fake. #HiddleSwift please — Random Tweets (@001RandomTweets) June 16, 2016
I mean, you did it Tay. You got everyone to talk about you and Tom while (mostly) turning a blind eye to Kim and her interview.
Can't wait for the breakup song!