I'm sure a lot of you girls can attest to having a plethora of “guy problems,” just as a lot of us guys can attest to having just as many “girl problems.” And if this is the case for you, the truth is, you don't have any “guy” or “girl” problems -- you have ONE problem.
That problem? That you and the person you're with aren't in love.
Maybe you're the one feeling more all-in than your partner. Maybe you just need some space from someone who is feeling you a little harder than you're feeling him or her.
Both scenarios suck, and ultimately, that uneven dynamic in your relationship is what your problem is.
But what if you don't know which one is true? What if you can't tell if the distress on your relationship is because of an unrequited love from your end or your partner's?
Well, ladies, from a guy's perspective, there are some things the man in your life will only do for you if he truly, wholeheartedly loves you.
1. A guy will only listen to the woman he loves.
I mean REALLY listen.
When you're talking to your guy and notice his mind -- or worse, his eyes -- wandering mid-conversation, that is a red flag for you and your relationship. If a guy really loves you, you will have his undivided attention when it matters, and a conversation with you should always matter to him.
Or maybe he hears you, but doesn't absorb what you're saying because he doesn't take you seriously, say, when you give him advice on a particular matter. A man who loves you will hear you, listen to your advice and heed it, or at least counter it with a reasonable opinion of his own.
Either way, he will listen to you because he loves you.
2. A guy will only argue with the woman he loves.
I know what you're thinking: WTF? Why would a guy who loves me argue with me? That's horrible.
Actually, a guy who is willing to argue with you is an incredibly good sign. It means he cares. It means he sees something in the relationship that isn't working for him, and rather than hit the road, he is choosing to try and fix it.
Arguing is a sign that he wants to stay with you. He wants to work on the relationship because he loves you and can't bear to see you go.
However, CONSTANT arguing is not a sign of a healthy relationship. If he is arguing with you constantly, that is a sign that he either wants everything his way or that you two are simply incompatible.
Occasional arguing is good, but get out of there if the arguing becomes a routine thing.
3. A guy will only change his mind for the woman he loves.
This is a big one. Guys can be very stubborn sometimes. And in a lot of relationships -- or pseudo-relationships, rather -- guys may not take the women they're fraternizing with seriously.
The reason for that? A lack of respect and a lack of love.
Love and respect go hand-in-hand. If a guy sees your relationship as a purely physical thing, he's not going to be as fond of your opinion as he is of your body.
If you want him to visit your parents instead of going out with his boys, he's not going to do it. If you want him to go to that Broadway show you've been dying to see instead of the game, he'll shoot you down without thinking twice -- because he isn't in love with you.
A guy who loves and respects you will seek to compromise with you because he sees you as an equal. Maybe you won't always reach a compromise for every single disagreement because, let's face it, things don't always align. But the effort to compromise will always be there, and usually, in a healthy relationship full of love, the two of you will find a way to make any given situation work.
4. A guy will only fight for the woman he loves
No guy is fighting for a hookup. He'll know when a sexual fling is temporary, and no one -- guy or girl -- is going to fight for something temporary.
If a guy loves you, he will fight for you. He will stick up for you to his friends, to YOUR friends, to his family and to YOUR family; he won't let anyone cut you down because he physically and emotionally can't. It will be like a reflex to him, and he won't even think twice about going to bat for you.
A man who truly loves you won't only fight on your behalf -- he'll fight FOR you and fight to keep you.
5. A guy will do anything for the woman he loves.
A man who has experienced true love knows how valuable and hard-to-find such a thing is. There's nothing a guy can't do when he has the love of a woman behind him.
If you have an important event, he'll be there to support you. If you have a big meeting at work, he'll help you prepare beforehand and be there to ask you how it went after. These things will be second nature to him.
And when push comes to shove, if he needs to compromise something he loves in order to be with you -- living somewhere he grew up, altering his current career path that may be getting in the way -- he will do so if it means staying with you and maintaining a working relationship. Or, at the very least, he will be willing to modify his current situation to fit whatever the universe throws your guys' way.
If a guy loves you, he will regard you as the most important thing in his life. And as the most important thing in his life, there's nothing he won't do for you.