Now you'll never have to wonder.
Sometimes I think about the fact that my parents used to call each other on the phone to arrange dates (and not even on their own personal phones — on the communal phone in their dorm hall), and I want to shriek. Having the power to text your crush a gif whenever you want is a serious game-changer, but texting your crush can also be seriously confusing, since you can't always tell what the other person is thinking. What does that GIF mean, anyway? And what does it mean when he sends you memes? Luckily, even if you can't hear your crush's voice, there are still some telltale signs the person you're texting likes you.
There are the obvious signs, of course. If your crush takes 48 hours to respond to "Hey," then they're probably just not that into you. If you only get one-word answers in response, things are also not looking great. But even if you're getting non-caveman-like responses back in a timely manner, it's not always easy to tell if your crush is smitten or just being polite.
Elite Daily previously spoke to April Masini, relationship expert and founder of Relationship Advice Forum, Damona Hoffman, relationship expert and host of the Dates & Mates podcast, and Maria Avgitidis, CEO of matchmaking service Agape Match and host of the dating podcast Ask A Matchmaker. They told us the signs to look out for when you're texting with a crush.
They Ask Questions
The best one-on-one conversations are a two-person effort. Rather than an interview, your texting conversations should feel like an even exchange of information. If you feel like you're pulling teeth, it may be because you're the only one initiating. According to Hoffman, "never asking questions about you," is a sign they aren’t putting any effort in getting to know you.
Does your crush just tell you about their day when you ask, or do they also reciprocate and ask you about your own? Better yet, are they asking you about your day before you even ask about theirs? Chances are, if the questions are only being posed one way, your crush is trying to find a way to end the conversation, not keep it going.
They Spell-Check Their Texts
I can't be the only one who's been turned off by a crush who uses "your" when they mean to say "you're." As strange as it sounds, grammar and punctuation matter, and not just because that indicates that your crush was paying attention in class. Just as you would spell-check an email before sending it to a professor, proofreading texts indicates that the person sending them wants the respect of the person receiving them.
As Masini pointed out, sloppy texters "don’t think about the other person’s experience reading texts that are misspelled, poorly crafted, and not well punctuated." You spell-check because you care. That said, obviously, you shouldn't judge your crush for typos if they have a learning disability or a physical disability that makes typo-free texting more challenging.
They Know How to Banter
If you and your crush are really vibing, you'll find that the chemistry is evident even through your texts. Of course, the only way to establish banter is to have two participants who are equally engaged. According to Hoffman, brief texts (even a cute emoji in lieu of a response) indicate that your dynamic is lacking.
"Everyone can be cute and clever in a few sentences," she pointed out. "If you’re not feeling a vibe over text and not having texting streaks, it’s likely that the chemistry isn’t there." Banter is all about quick wit, so it's not enough for your crush to be witty — a sure sign of interest is a speedy reply. If your crush isn't quick about responding, then the banter will quickly fizzle out.
They Open Up to You
When it comes to disclosing personal feelings, texting is a little complicated. As Masini explained, "There are people who are more comfortable behind a screen than they are in person," which can also lead to an oversharing situation (or an illicit pic situation). But of course, sharing isn't always a bad thing (as long as the thing being shared doesn't make you uncomfortable).
If you find that your crush is unwilling to divulge much when you ask specific questions or that your conversations rarely stray beyond impersonal topics, you may be texting a closed door. But if your crush starts to tell you things in confidence (or at least share things with you that they haven't already shared in their Instagram Story), that means trust has been established, and that's a very important thing.
They Respond in a Timely Manner
Everybody is busy and we all have work to do, but someone who cares about you will get back to you in a timely manner with a response worth receiving. A person who likes you “replies almost immediately if you have initiated a conversation,” according to the experts at eHarmony. “A guy who truly likes you will be consistent.” So they will respond, and even if they’re busy, they’ll let you know. If they’re not doing this, it might be time to take a step back. “If you have no plans to see each other, and your texts are going [to] read, that might be a sign to stop texting them,” said Avgitidis. And that’s OK, because soon someone else will be texting you!
They Move Beyond Text
Texting is great and all, but at the end of the day you really know that someone likes you if they want to make plans to see you! Whether it’s in person if they’re nearby or via FaceTime if they’re far away, that person wants to see your face, not just your words. “Relationships are built in person,” writes relationship coach James Hanrahan. “When a man is in front of you, it’s an entirely different conversation. If a guy can’t figure out how to get off the phone so he can look into your eyes, he’s wasting both his time and yours.” Because ultimately you need to have a life outside of your phone, and if a person really likes you and wants to take the leap, they know that, too.
Sure, a GIF will never be able to accurately portray the depth of your crush's thoughts and feelings. But if you can at least identify whether they would give a thumbs-up or thumbs-down to the question of, "Do you like me?" texting will become a whole lot less stressful.
April Masini, relationship expert and founder of Relationship Advice Forum
Damona Hoffman, relationship expert and host of the Dates & Mates podcast
eHarmony, “How to tell if a guy likes you”
James Allen Hanrahan, yourTango, “How To Tell If A Guy Likes You, Based On His Texts”
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