It goes without saying that texting plays a pivotal role in our relationships. It provides a quick and convenient way to make date night dinner plans while you're still at work. It also offers a less vulnerable way to flirt with your crush and test the waters. It even gives you a way to stay connected to your SO while you two are apart. Not to mention, texting can also impart some invaluable insight into their feelings. There are certain signs of falling in love through text, so if you’re not sure where you two stand, then you might be able to figure it out from their texting habits.
Of course, texting is not the only way to tell if someone’s falling in love. And if you’re dating someone who’s not a good texter, then you’ll obviously have a harder time mining your text convos for any hints about where they stand. However, experts say there are certain signals that typically suggest someone is developing feelings through texting. Some of them are perhaps more obvious, but there are subtler signs to look out for as well. Wondering whether the person you’re talking to is head over heels for you? Then keep a look out for one of these telling text habits.
If they never let a text sit on read for longer than 20 minutes, then chances are they’re into you. Someone who’s falling hard will want to make you a priority, and text communication can tell you a lot. As online dating expert Julie Spira previously told Elite Daily, “If someone really likes you, they’ll be responding to text messages quickly, especially in the first hour of receipt to keep the spark alive.” And while not everyone is reliable with their phones, chances are that even an inconsistent texter will be looking out for your texts if they’re really into you.
If you’ve ever noticed that your SO tells you what they have planned for the day or divulges what happened at the office without any prompting, experts say that’s a strong indicator that they may be falling for you. Why? Because they want you to know more about them, and they’re inviting you into their world.
“You might not realize it, but filling you in on even the mundane things — that’s significant,” says Wood. “Openly sharing information with you, without you even asking for it — there’s so much intimacy in that.”
Does your crush or current partner have special greetings or nicknames they use when they text you? Or have they developed inside jokes with you that they pepper into your conversations? Coming up with this kind of coded language isn't just super flirty; it could mean they’re falling hard. “If you feel like it’s unique to you and your conversations, that’s special because no one else would understand it — only you two,” explains Wood.
It makes sense when you think about it. This is one way to reinforce your bond while also separating your conversations from all the rest in their phone. Obviously you’re special to them, or they wouldn’t bother to set your texts apart by personalizing them.
If the person you’re talking to remembers something you brought up in a chat a while ago or mentions something you posted on social media, it means they are paying attention and are actively interested in what’s going on in your life. “If they know things about you that you didn’t tell them, that’s a non-creepy sign they are into you,” behavioral scientist Clarissa Silva previously told Elite Daily.
Referencing something specific from your Instagram story or a TikTok you posted shows you that they care about and want to know what you’re up to. And bringing it up over text means they want you to know that they’re interested in you and simply want to keep chatting.
You may misinterpret a meme response as laziness, but these kind of texts are actually a good sign. It suggests that you two share a familiarity, and they understand what appeals to your funny bone. "Someone who sends lots of GIFs and memes is a creative person who’s thinking outside the box," April Masini, relationship expert and founder of Relationship Advice Forum, previously explained to Elite Daily. “Instead of using the standard emojis, this GIF sender is looking for something to express feelings that is beyond what’s normal."
When the object of your affection asks how your night went or what you work day looks like, they’re showing that they care to be informed about what’s going on in your life. And when they ask you personal questions over text that delve into your preferences, interests, and goals, they’re demonstrating that they want to know you on a deeper level. Both of these behaviors point to one thing: They might very well be falling for you.
“If someone makes statements that don't beg a response, that's a pretty good sign they're not into you,” explains Brown. “People will ask questions or send messages that require a response if they're into you.” Questions keep the conversation flowing, so if bae is asking you things over text, then that suggests they want to stay as connected to you as possible.
According to Brown, one of the best signals of all is if they take your conversations off the text thread. Wanting to set up a phone call or FaceTime to talk is a pretty clear indication that they want to take things to a more intimate level, as both are more direct forms of communication.
“One of the biggest ways to confirm your feelings would be to progress from texting to phone calls, FaceTime, and eventually meeting in person,” Kayla-Brooke White, NCC, LPC-R, MA, a life coach at Blush, previously told Elite Daily. “If you have the same chemistry in person as you do via text, then you’ll have a little more certainty that those late nights [of] texting were worth it.”
All these texting habits can certainly point to the possibility that someone is falling. At the same time, don’t stress if your crush or partner isn’t exhibiting all of these behaviors. Plus, if they make plans to see you in person, they’re proving in a different — and honestly more significant— way that they value quality time with you, and that’s one of the best ways to build real intimacy.
Patti Wood, body language expert and author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma
Clarissa Silva, behavioral scientist
Kayla-Brooke White, NCC, LPC-R, MA, a life coach at Blush
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