Single Life
A crush who isn't into you will resort to dry texting.
6 Ways To Know They’re Not That Interested, Just By How They Text

If they keep you waiting, they’re not interested in dating. 🤷

Originally Published: 

I love the part of dating when you both have text message fever. At first, you try and play it a little cool, but then, before you know it, you're texting all day (and sometimes all night) long. It's flirty, it's fun, and it's exciting. What isn’t so fun, flirty, or exciting is when you start to get the feeling the person you’re texting isn’t really into it. Dry texting is a major bummer, and unfortunately, it’s one of the definitive signals you can spot from texting that they’re just not that into you. Sorry, truth hurts.

As Damona Hoffman, relationship expert and host of the Dates & Mates podcast, points out to Elite Daily, someone who’s not interested in you will likely indicate that through the way they text. "Everyone can be cute and clever in a few sentences,” she said. “If you’re not feeling a vibe over text and not having texting streaks, it’s likely that the chemistry isn’t there." If you and your crush are really vibing, then you'll find that the connection is evident even through your texts. However, if you’re noticing these disinterested texting signals, then it may be time to focus your energy on someone else.

They Keep Their Texts Short

One of the most obvious signs the person you’re texting isn’t interested, according to online dating expert Julie Spira, is as simple as the length of their messages. “When someone isn’t that into you, their responses to your text messages will be short, as in one to three words,” Spira tells Elite Daily. “By sending a reply with a word or two, if it doesn’t include a cute emoji, GIF, or exclamation point, it’s a sign that the person isn’t into you and they’re responding out of obligation.” Even if she or he replies fast but short, they’re probs not feeling it.

They Take A Long Time To Reply

If you want to know how into you someone is, pay attention to how quickly they reply, says NYC relationship expert Susan Winter. “When a person isn't into you, they don't get back to you right away,” she says. “Part of that is on purpose, because they want to push you back. But even if unintentional, lag time shows that you're not a priority and therefore they needn't bother to respond in a timely fashion.” The longer the lag, the less that person likely values the conversation.

They Claim They “Didn’t See Your Message”

When you’re on the move, it’s easy to open up a text and then forget to reply, even if it’s a message from someone you’re excited about. However, Spira says that — when this becomes a frequent occurrence — forgetfulness isn’t the issue. “Everyone is attached to their cell phones, and some people even sleep with theirs like it’s their favorite digital teddy bear," she says. "If the excuse of not seeing your text message becomes a repeated theme, it’s because you’re low on the totem pole.”

They Don’t Ask Questions

One of the best ways to keep a convo flowing is to ask questions. If you find that you’re doing all the legwork in the conversation (and that your crush isn’t giving you much in return), then they may be trying to shut the convo down. “If someone makes statements that don't beg a response, that's a pretty good sign they're not into you,” Traci Brown, body language expert and author of Persuasion Point, previously told Elite Daily. “People will ask questions or send messages that require a response if they're into you.”

They Don’t Spellcheck Their Texts

Just as you would spellcheck an email before sending to a professor, spellchecking texts indicates that the person sending wants the respect of the person receiving. As April Masini, relationship expert and founder of Relationship Advice Forum previously told Elite Daily, disinterested texters "don’t think about the other person’s experience reading texts that are misspelled, poorly crafted, and not well punctuated." That said, obviously, you shouldn't judge your crush for typos if they have a learning disability or a physical disability that makes typo-free texting more challenging.

They Text Sporadically

If your crush’s texting habits are wildly unpredictable, then you can likely predict their feelings for you are just as inconsistent. “If you’ve been waking up to a good morning text message daily, a ‘sweet dreams’ text at night, and suddenly those messages come to a complete halt, it’s a clear message that your relationship status has already changed," says Spira, adding, “It’s time for you to start looking elsewhere as well.”

As Winter says, “Getting real with ourselves can be uncomfortable, but it's key to creating a meaningful and mutually respectful partnership.” And if it’s clear the person you’re texting just isn’t giving you their all in return, then you should probably start redirecting your texts to someone who deserves them.


Damona Hoffman, relationship expert and host of the Dates & Mates podcast

Julie Spira, online dating expert

Susan Winter, NYC relationship expert

Traci Brown, body language expert and author of Persuasion Point

April Masini, relationship expert and founder of Relationship Advice Forum

Editor's Note: This story has been updated by Elite Daily Staff.

This article was originally published on