The former Bachelor, who says he's "more decisive than people think," is open to finding love again.
In Elite Daily’s Q&A series Everything I’ve Learned About Love (So Far), celebrities share their most heartfelt and heartbreaking lessons about dating, relationships, and breakups, and offer their best advice. This time, Peter Weber — a former Bachelor star who now reps Chispa, the dating app for Latinx singles — reveals why he once wanted to quit reality TV, dishes on his ex’s relationship with his mom, and shuts down the misconception that he’s indecisive when it comes to love. (So, that time he proposed to Hannah Ann Sluss, briefly dated Madison Prewett, hooked up with Hannah Brown, and reunited with Kelley Flanagan in the span of four months? It wasn’t what you think.)
What's your favorite thing about being single?
Focusing on myself. I used to feel like I was being pulled in too many directions and giving too much of myself, but I was able to hit that reset button, gather myself, and get to a really good place, mentally, emotionally, and physically. Being single has been great for me. I’m now at the point where I’m ready to seriously think about dating again.
How do you meet people?
My brother is getting married in April of next year, and I kid you not, my family cannot stop asking me, “So, who’s your date going to be?” It’s just the whole Latin culture — you’re very close, they’re very curious. Chispa has been a perfect way to possibly meet someone who shares my values, who understands the culture I come from. I'm not going to force anything or rush it, but maybe I’ll be able to give my family an answer soon.
I’ve been on Chispa for two weeks and haven’t gone on any dates yet; I’m just going through the app and trying to get to know people. I’m not going to lie, you get more attention on dating apps after the show. So, for me, it’s really important to make sure that anyone I decide to meet up with in person is “here for the right reasons” (as best as I can judge). I have to do my due diligence. I don’t like to rush into anything.
What’s your best piece of dating advice?
It’s so important to be in a good place with yourself before you can even think about giving yourself to someone else. Put yourself first so you’ll be able to put someone else first in the future. I don’t think I truly understood that until recently.
What’s your best piece of relationship advice?
Communication is the biggest key. If you don’t have that, it’s going to be a struggle. So, always put in the work to maintain that.
I’m on the go a lot and I’m not necessarily able to be with my significant other all the time, so communication is really important. I won’t say communication always came super naturally to me — you learn it by going through relationships.
One big hurdle for me is that people worry it’s difficult to date a pilot who’s gone a lot. But I’ve seen this with my parents — if you have really solid trust and a certain level of independence, being apart is actually one of the healthiest things in the world. It keeps it fresh. You’re not around someone for too long where you can get on their nerves. When I was a little kid, I’d see my dad come home from a trip, and see my mom run up to him and give him a big hug and kiss. They were so happy. That constant energy, passion, love... it’s a beautiful thing. My parents are a huge model of what I want in a relationship moving forward.
What’s your best piece of breakup advice?
This came from my grandmother, who passed it down to my mom, who passed it down to me. "Niño, no te desesperes. Deja las aguas correr que lo que está para ti, y si pierde y si muere." What's meant for you, what's yours in life, whoever you're meant to be with, I truly believe this, they're going to be there. That’s pulled me through every breakup I’ve ever had. At the end of the day, you’re going to find your way to the right person. If it takes a million and one heartbreaks to get there, so be it. It’s going to be so worth it in the end.
Another thing my mom has said to me is that if the breakup was not your choosing, you don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you. You want to be with someone who values you, who is so thankful to be with you, who wakes up every morning happy to call you theirs, and vice versa.
Heartbreak sucks. It hurts, but it’s supposed to hurt. That shows it meant something to you.
What are you looking for in your next relationship?
I’ve always said that if you have a sweet heart, I can put up with so many other things. You can’t fake that. Eventually, if that’s not truly your nature, that comes out. And then, of course, I’m looking for someone who can vibe with the adventure lifestyle, because I look forward to sharing those experiences someday.
Also, with my Cuban roots, family is so huge. I’m not saying family’s not huge for other cultures at all, but I’m looking for someone who understands that familial connection and values it as much as I do. Obviously, Kelley doesn’t come from a Cuban family, but with her mom from Greece, there were actually very similar values there. That was something I really, really appreciated from that relationship. Kelley and my mom were super close; they had a great relationship. My mom was Kelley’s biggest fan. Obviously, there were a lot of things at the end of the show, but they were just communicating and reaching out and it was cool.
Who is one celebrity couple you admire? Why?
Russell Wilson and Ciara. I'm a huge, diehard Seattle Seahawks fan, so he's my all-time favorite quarterback. I don’t know them personally, but I follow them on Instagram, and they just seem so pure. You can tell they support each other as superstars in their own fields. They’re each other’s biggest fans. Obviously, no one’s perfect, but it seems like they do everything the right way. It’s like, damn, that’s the relationship I want. They’re fricking powerhouses.
What’s your most memorable first date story, good or bad?
It was actually like a — I’m not going to say group date, Jesus, I can’t believe I’m saying that — but my brother was part of it. I had a big crush on this girl in high school, but I never talked to her. Fast forward to college, and I just reached out on Facebook and we started chatting. We got together once for coffee. And then for our first official date, I was like, “Hey, let’s go to New York City for the ball drop on New Year’s Eve.” She was like, “Yeah, why not? Let’s do it.” We were living in LA at the time. So, we flew out there together with my brother. Our flight was delayed. We got there 10 minutes late. We actually missed the whole drop.
What's a fear you used to have about dating or relationships that you've overcome?
I used to be extremely shy. In high school, I couldn’t talk to girls. I didn’t really get my first girlfriend until my senior year of high school, and it wasn’t even my doing — thank God she started it. I tried to make myself uncomfortable in a lot of ways to help some growth occur there. Honestly, that’s a big reason why I went on the show. It was a really cool opportunity for getting out of my comfort zone.
The first two weeks of filming, I was like, “I can’t do this.” I was so stressed, so nervous, so uncomfortable. I woke up every day with anxiety. You’re not used to all these cameras and all this stuff going on. It took some time to be comfortable dating on camera with everyone else listening in. Eventually, it got to a point where it became second nature and I could tune everything else out, but for those first two weeks, I actually wanted to quit. I wanted to leave.
What is one misconception people might have about your love life?
I'm a lot more decisive than people think I am. I think people don't realize how much influence a TV show has on how you have to go about things. I can only say so much on that, but I knew a lot more than what people thought I did. I think the show portrayed something and I think I played ball a little bit too much, if I'm being honest. I did things that I shouldn't have done and I didn't have to do.
Put it this way: If you’re a pilot, flying so many lives safely every single day, you can’t be indecisive. I think that's the perfect testament to why I can make that claim. But it just is what it is. I look back on it like, "It's not really how it was, but it's all good."
What does love mean to you?
Love is the ultimate gift we can ever receive or give. It’s one of the main unifying things as a human race — we’re all searching for it. Ultimately, no matter how you display it, how affectionate you are, how comfortable you are talking about it, it’s something we all crave. It’s the one thing that’s worth never, ever giving up on.