How To Actually Ask Someone Out On Tinder


Being on multiple dating apps does not mean that you are going on multiple dates. It does not even mean that you have gone on one Tinder date IRL. Making a dating app profile can be kind of fun, and swiping is exciting (or at least, it is until your thumb cramps up). But actually asking someone out on Tinder can be a little intimidating for some people.

If you're nervous about inviting a cutie out for coffee or suggesting a meet-up at a bar, you're not alone. Putting yourself out there can make even the coolest of cucumbers feel distinctly un-chill. It can be especially tough to work up the courage to make the first move if you're out of practice or have never done it before.

The good thing is that asking someone out on Tinder or another dating app is a lot lower-stakes than asking someone out IRL. You can shoot your shot while wearing sweatpants on your couch, you can rewrite the message as many times as it takes until it feels right, and you can even get advice from experts when you're feeling stuck. Luckily for you, I've rounded up dating tips to make this process a cinch, starting off with some insight from Tinder itself.


Once you've made a match, start off the conversation on the right foot by sending a message that encourages your match to write back. That doesn't mean you need to frantically Google pickup lines if that's not your style — but what that does mean is putting a little bit of thought into what you say.

"Generic opening lines don't work," explains Dr. Jess Carbino, Tinder's in-house sociologist. "We know that 20 percent of messages sent on Tinder begin with the word 'hey.' If you want to break out from the crowd, send something more interesting."

I'm really into asking questions like "pizza or tacos?" because they start off something of a conversation, however mundane. You might inquire about a small detail from their profile that most people will miss — like asking what song they're listening to if they happen to be wearing headphones in one photo. You might even cut to the chase and ask if they're free this weekend.

And if the perfect line doesn't strike you right away, don't worry. It's better to send the best idea you've got rather than waiting. According to data from Tinder, 95 percent of matches are most likely to meet between two and seven days after matching. So, in other words, if there's someone you think you'll really like, don't wait to make your move.

Once the flirtatious banter is underway, one of the most common pitfalls is the conversation fizzling out because one person forgets to respond in a timely manner. It's not always easy to remember to check the apps, so give your match your number as soon as possible, or ask for their number so you can keep the ball rolling via text.

It's important to keep the responses flowing, Meredith Golden, a dating coach and dating app expert previously told Elite Daily. "People get busy and the conversations lose momentum," she explained. "Once it flatlines, it’s hard to resurrect [the spark]." Instead of chasing down new matches once your old flames have burnt out, it'll be easier and more efficient to give just a select few conversations your full attention.

Once you and your match slide into actual texting territory, if your match isn't suggesting an actual date, don't be afraid to say something first. I mean, they're texting you. They're somewhat interested! Try a simple line like, "It would be great to actually meet in person," or, "Do you want to grab a drink sometime?"

Asking someone out on Tinder is a skill just like any other, and the more you practice, the easier it becomes. You got this.

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