We've all been through the dark and depressing time after you get your heart broken by someone you thought was the love of your life.
And if you're anything like me, you overanalyze the entire situation, going back and forth in your head about every little thing that happened.
But now, I've come to realize that no matter what the details were and no matter how your relationship and your breakup played out, the aftermath is still going to be painful and confusing.
In my own past relationship, I was completely debilitated by my anxiety and constantly obsessed over the things that went wrong. To me, obsessing over whatever mistakes I made in my relationship was my attempt to fix things and change an outcome that may or may not have been inevitable from the start.
So as a seasoned veteran of surviving heartbreak, I'm here to share some insight with you on the things you should do to help yourself during this traumatizing — yet temporary — period of your life:
1. Work. It. Out.
On those mornings when you don't want to leave your bed after a breakup (and trust me, there will be those days), go to the gym.
I haven't found an outlet quite like the gym that motivates me, shows me physical results and helps my mental state at the same time. Plus, the endorphins released during a workout will lift your mood.
2. Social media does not exist right now.
OK, yes, it does exist. But I'm suggesting you pretend like it doesn't for a while after your breakup.
Social media keeps everyone so connected all the time that it will NOT give you a clean break from seeing everything about your ex's life.
Yes, in a perfect world, you could mindlessly scroll through Facebook and not let a new picture of your ex with someone else get to you. But honestly, how often do you go on Facebook and NOT let your intrigue take over your better judgment? My guess is, not too often.
So, do yourself a favor and stay away from all your social media apps for a little while, at least until you've managed to get a better handle on your emotions.
3. Surround yourself with friends and family.
There's nothing more supportive and uplifting than surrounding yourself with good friends and loved ones during an extremely vulnerable time in your life.
It's also crucial you surround yourself with those you trust because their opinions are the only opinions that matter. If you seek advice from a fair-weather friend or acquaintance, you're doing yourself a major disservice, as that person may not have your best interest in mind.
Those who know and understand you will (hopefully) have your back no matter what. They won't always tell you exactly what you want to hear, but they will always be honest about what you need to hear.
4. Pick up a new hobby.
Right after a breakup, you're very tender, sensitive and potentially a little impulsive. If you're in a room alone with a computer or your phone, you'll probably end up doing something you'll regret. (Even the best of us text our ex when we shouldn't.)
Now is a great time to pick up a new hobby or revisit one you might have left behind. Whether it's writing, painting, a new sport or just taking a walk in the fresh air, a new activity will change up your routine and take your mind off whatever pain you might be feeling.
At the end of the day, when going through the brunt of a breakup, it's crucial you stay focused on the things that bring you joy and stay away from what only makes your pain worse.
Allow yourself to heal in your own time and feel whatever sadness you're feeling, but remember these things if the pain starts to overwhelm you for too long.