In a generation of frauds, sincerity is hard to find, especially in the dating realm.
Dating has always been somewhat of a show, with girls and guys alike putting on their best face for the night. And this show we all put on for a new lover is soaring to new levels.
This brings me to the "fake wallet reach.” It's the dance you do to find your wallet in your ever-so-big Louis Vuitton tote, accompanied by a look on your face that says, “I swear it's in here. This purse is just so big, and by the time I find my wallet, you may have already paid!”
The whole charade is phony, and it's likely to leave your date with a sour taste in their mouth as well.
So if you thought the fake wallet reach was the same as offering to pay, you've been playing the game wrong.
Here are five reasons why actually offering to split the check will always be better than a phony fake wallet reach.
1. You won't seem like a fraud.
The truth is, if someone is going to pay for a date, they are going to do so whether or not you offer to pay your share. The same goes for if you pretend to reach for your wallet. The only difference is that, on one hand, you seem like a fraud.
Whether or not you prefer to split the bill is irrelevant. And unless it was a terrible date, your date has probably already decided if they're going to pay for you anyway.
2. It shows you're sincere.
Everyone appreciates someone who's upfront about things. And when you actually offer to pay your half of the bill, it seems honest.
There is no game and no awkward gesture. You've put your cards on the table (literally), and now, it's your date's hand to play. It's always a good move to put the ball in the other team's court anyway. Then, it's up to them to set the precedent.
3. It makes you seem considerate.
We all work really hard for our money, and people appreciate when you acknowledge that. Offering to go dutch shows you value their time, you recognize we all work hard and you didn't just come for the free dinner.
Offering to pay will make you look like you care, and it'll also make your date feel better about footing the bill if they felt like you considered their feelings enough to offer.
4. It saves time.
If someone not paying on the first date is a deal breaker for you, it's better you know where your date stands on the matter right away.
This way, you can save your own time and energy in the long run. If you can't handle splitting the bill, then offering to pay and having them accept your offer makes it easier to say no to a second date.
5. It will make you feel better, too.
If someone feels obliged to pay due to your excessive purse-digging, neither of you is really winning. You never want to force someone to do something.
Your date will also feel better about paying if they believe it was actually their decision, all manipulation aside.
Offering to pay the bill is a win-win situation. You look like a well-rounded human being, and the other person feels appreciated.
And in a world that's so fake, being real and genuine is refreshing. You both know what you're getting from one another this way, and that's a good page to start dating on.