It's engrained in our ~chivalrous~ American culture that a man will pay the bill on the first date.
When he pulls out his credit card, some girls will say nothing. Some girls will insist on splitting the bill.
And some girls will do the "fake wallet reach."
The fake wallet reach is when a girl goes into her purse to "grab" her wallet at the end of a dinner date to split the check. But the catch is, she really had no intention of paying.
She only reached in her purse to prompt her date to say something like, "Don't worry, I got it," so she can shrug and say, "All right!"
It was alllllll a lie.
According to our reader survey, 30 percent of women have employed this move on a date. So clearly, lots of us women are sneaky, sneaky sneaks.
But what do men think of it? Do they think it's sneaky in a good way or in a bitchy way? Or do they not care about it at all?
We asked a bunch of guys for their opinions. Here's what they had to say:
This guy respects the move:
It's sly. I respect it.
— CJ, Facebook (*with 5 likes)
But these guys want literally nothing to do with girls who pull that shit:
These guys, however, see some nuance to reasons why a girl would pull the move:
I thought this was called 'American culture.' It's cute on the first date, but after the third or fourth it's time to either split the bill like a modern adult or admit you're a princess who refuses to pay for anything. That sets the stage for the rest of the relationship.
— Ian, Facebook
I think very often women tend to wait for cues or suggestions from men as to whats happening with the check. Expectations and reactions are what varies, but in my experience the 'deference' almost always happens. I like when [who pays] gets decided by economics. If someone has kids at home, works retail, or is in between jobs — I'll grab the whole check. If they work, I'd rather split it, but often take it all anyway just to avoid any awkwardness.
— Lenny, Facebook
And these guys... well, these guys thought the wallet reach was not fake! So adorable.
I don't think it's bad as long as I was the one inviting her. If she invited me, then I wouldn't mind paying if she at least tried to actually pay.
— Rogger, Facebook
I'm on the side of Ted Mosby on this one. On HIMYM, one of Ted's things was she had to reach of the check. Of course he was going to pay for it all, but the sheer action shows, in my mind, independence and that you're not just in this to be wined, dined, and goodbye'd.
— Tommy, Facebook
This guy, however, is not fooled by anything:
If a girl really wanted to pay, she'd find a way to pay.
— Frasher, via Gchat
So ladies, reach with caution.
Some men are too sweet to notice if you do it (or to call you out on it), but some men will.