How To Come To Terms With A Relationship That Ended Before It Began

Jovana Rikalo

We've all had one. That relationship that doesn't actually qualify as a relationship because it ended before anything became serious enough for it to gain that title.

Not only is it awkward to explain, there are also a few things that inevitably follow when a relationship ends before it even began, the first being radio silence.

You talked every day, starting with that smile inducing "Good morning" text, and ending with a goodnight snapchat under the covers of your dark room.

Then, all of a sudden, there were no responses to your text messages, your snapchats had the ever-so-annoying open arrow next to them and there was no explanation for any of it. There wasn't even a reason, or a warning. It all just stopped.

You find yourself constantly questioning whether or not you should bring anything up to him because you don't want to look "crazy." Also because, technically, he doesn't owe you an explanation. You were just "talking," or "hooking up" or whatever other word the Millennial generation has come up with to describe a relationship in lieu of the actual word "relationship."

You get solidification that what ever it was, it's over.

Unfortunately, that usually comes in the form of someone else. Be it a cute picture posted of them on Instagram, a relationship status change on Facebook or seeing them together in public as you try to not look surprised, it is made painfully clear that he's moved on.

This will leave you with even more questions. "Was he talking to her while he was talking to me?" "Did he stop talking to me because of her?" "Did he think she was the better pick?"

These questions will rattle your brain for weeks, encouraging you to go over every detail of the relationship, before eventually disappearing because they're questions that you'll never get the answers to.

You begin to second guess yourself, and you try to answer endless what-if questions about why you weren't good enough for him. It was going so swimmingly, and you don't know how you've found yourself drowning in this pit of insecurities and doubt.

You try not to be too upset because what reason do you really have? You weren't dating, and you didn't "talk" long enough for it to even count as anything. All you can do is pretend you're fine with it, just like he is.

When you're finally over it, snapchats and occasional Instagram likes will roll in and spin your head into thinking that maybe he realized he was wrong, and things will pick up again.

You could pick up where you left off, and it wouldn't be weird since you stayed relatively cool during the whole "I'm going to stop talking to you because all of a sudden I have a girlfriend" thing. He'll finally realize that you were what he wanted all along, right?

Wrong. He isn't coming back, and you don't really want him too. You come to that realization after allowing yourself to be as sad as you want, because it sucked. You liked a boy who showed you in so many ways that he liked you, until he didn't anymore.

Then, instead of being an adult and being honest, he let you find out by seeing him with someone else. That sucked. You allowed yourself to feel upset, hurt and angry, just not forever. You let those feelings out, and then you let them go.

You aren't angry anymore, and you aren't sad. You're just, simply, moving on.

Maybe it's with someone else, or maybe it's by yourself, but you're done being sad over a relationship that was never a relationship.