“I don't miss him, I swear!” we promise it's over and there is no connection between us and our ex what so ever.
How many times do we find ourselves trying to convince our friends we've moved on and fell out of love with our exes? The answer is a hell of a lot, well, at first.
And we are probably lying; lying to our friends, lying to ourselves. If we repeat it enough, it'll be true, right? Maybe, just maybe.
After so long though, you make a choice; move on to bigger and better or remain stuck in a vicious cycle of depression with your head lost in the past. I chose moving on. Mostly.
I don't miss him. This is the truth. But there's something I dwell on and miss enough it's blocking me from moving on completely with my life. I'm hung up on the relationship.
I can't even say I miss the relationship though; all the fighting, lies and fakeness it entailed was awful and nothing I aspire any future relationship to possess. What I miss is that connection.
As much as I hate to admit, and boy, do I really loathe admitting it, there was a connection. You know how comfortable you are being yourself around, well you? That's what I miss. Someone I didn't have to pretend for. Someone I didn't find myself feeling awkward or weird around. A person who got me; a person who knew who I was and everything there was to know about me. I want that again.
Connecting with people can be such a difficult thing. As badly as we may want some instant connection with people who walk into our lives, it doesn't happen with everyone. There's only a few people who come into our lives and from that moment on, we never want them to leave.
A true connection with someone is so rare; that's the beauty of it. We long for that feeling with another person so badly, when we finally come across it, we eventually take it for granted, well, until it's gone. Then we are left to long and want for it again.
I miss being connected to another person; it's as simple as that. I don't often pretend to be someone I'm not, but I sometimes hold back on who I really am, afraid to show people my true colors because I don't feel connected to them. Who doesn't love that feeling of not overthinking how you're acting out in public?
You know how two puzzle pieces fit together just right, and you can't force any other pieces in that puzzle together? Well, thats life. We are puzzle pieces in a sea of billions of pieces, trying to find that one missing piece we've been searching for, for what feels like forever, to complete the puzzle.
Sure, we connect with people and make friends, we would be a lonely species without some fellow companions.
Unfortunately though, we were designed to find the missing connection in our life. So that's what we do, we search far and wide for someone who we can feel that sincere sense of comfortability yet. Our missing piece.
Never settle. Don't force yourself to connect with anyone who isn't your missing piece, that puzzle would not be completed if you do.
We all long for connections, and it's OK to have not found it yet, some of us just take a little longer to put the puzzle together. We can't give up though.
All of the pieces are in front of us, we just have to pick the fitting piece.