Men, when prompted by desire, can be some of the most creative creatures on earth.
He calls multiple times a day, texts cute little good morning messages, checks in to share the minute details of his week and sends hysterical memes and provocative jokes, all for her enjoyment.
It is easy to see how this behavior is endearing to the object of his affection. A woman can fall hard. As she takes this tumble, she develops warm fuzzy feelings from the special bond.
She fantasizes about weddings in Bermuda, family BBQs down by the shore and amazingly satisfying sex.
Before long, she's texting her mom, her best friend, her local barista and raving about this "new man."
She expresses he is simply “too good to be true.” But then, out of nowhere, the attention comes to a screeching halt.
It ends almost as abruptly as it began. Moments of anguish and confusion set in, and the girl is left wondering how he has simply abandoned her.
So, ladies, if you find yourself in this matrix of romantic mania, you are probably dealing with an innumerable amount of questions.
“What did I do wrong?” “Does he like me?” and “Was it something I said?” are all relevant queries, yet none of them seem to have a simple answer.
But, they do. In all honestly, guys lose interest.
Sometimes, the undivided attention just diminishes. Your guy could have met someone else. Maybe, he didn't like the fact that you smoked. Or maybe, you didn't give up your cookie quickly enough.
Now, this doesn't mean you did anything wrong; you were just being you. The one thing all of us need to remember is this: For some men, that is enough.
But, being the wonderful you that you are, you allow the question of “why?” to burn a hole into your cerebrum.
For some of us, we just can't leave well enough alone. We delve deeper by sending numerous drunken texts to seek answers.
I know what you are thinking: “What's wrong with that?” In short, everything.
Although girls' nights are fun, and a glittery tequila bottle is always a favored keepsake, these soirées never truly bring satisfaction. You need to as yourself why you need answers. Why do you need to know what his reasons were?
The best thing you can do is accept he wasn't feeling your vibe and move on. But, if (after a mandatory three-day waiting period) you just can't shake your feelings, then you, my friend, are ready to send 'the text of doom.”
Once you hit send, you set off a chain reaction. You reach a point of no return.
You have two approaches to choose from, and you must stick to whichever path you decide to walk down.
The text of doom is the perfect offensive attack to put into play when your ego is on the line. It can also possibly answer your "why?" question.
Text Of Doom - Option A
This option should be chosen if you still retain the ridiculous notion of “making things work.” In option A, there are only two rules.
First, you get to send a simple four word text: "We need to talk."
And then, you wait. If there is any hope for the two of you to work things out, the guy will respond to this text. There is, however, a 24-hour time period in which the guy should respond. If he does respond within this window, it is time to cut your losses and move on.
Send this type of text message with the understanding there is a 50 percent chance this guy will never respond. But, it's worth a try. Before you press send, you need to make sure you are clear about exactly what you want. Being clear means understanding where you want this to go.
If he does respond, you may only proceed with a phone call. Then, your next operative move is to progress like a SLUT:
The S is for Silence.
Be silent until he returns the call. After you send the text of doom, do not text again. Do not call, do not email and do not message. Give it time and wait.
The L is for Listen.
Let him do most of the talking. Allow him the freedom to openly express his opinions.
The U is for Understand.
Try to understand his point of view first, and then let him know how he made you feel. If he has called, that means he cares or is curious. Do not underestimate this gesture.
The T is for Thank
Appreciate the time he gave you for this conversation. Once you ask him for what you want and get the information you need from the phone call, your only reply should be one of these six phrases:
1. I can live with that.
2. I hope you have fun.
3. I wish you the best.
4. I'm always here for you. (You totally don't mean this.)
5. Whatever you want to do.
6 Good luck with that.
If being a SLUT doesn't sit well with you, then option B is the way to go. This is the “tell him how you really feel” text. You must only choose this option if you are completely done.
Tell Him How You Really Feel Text: Option B
You need to know this “relationship” is totally over if you choose option B. You tell him what you think about how it ended, who he is and how he made you feel. Whatever you do, do not expect to ever receive a response.
You're accepting it's over, and you're sending this text is to soothe your aching ego.
If you send this text, you are only allowed to address one key point of why you are hurt, upset, confused or bewildered.
Remember, ladies: We are dealing with men who process information completely differently than we do.
Limiting your text to only one issue gives you power. It also affirms your position, so choose wisely.
You can only do this without any heavy, emotionally-charged language. Keep your text brief and tone nonchalant. But, remember to throw in a passive aggressive dig at his personality, character or physicality when you can.
Hit him where it hurts. Doing so may seem a bit immature, but it will later soothe your self-esteem.
Finally, always end with a positive send off. After you send this text, you must follow these five hard-and-fast rules to protect your dignity.
1. Reread your text. (And for those of you who are obsessing, reread it again.)
2. Now, erase it.
3. Walk away from your phone, and go do something productive.
4. Do not ever call or text him again. (If you can't commit to doing this, then erase or block his number.)
5. Accept it is over.
The reason you must follow the above five rules is because he probably will not respond.
But, remember: You sent this text for your own peace of mind, not to get approval from him.
You will walk away with the power. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what he thinks of you; it matters what you think of yourself. As long as you are proud of how you've conducted yourself, you will be okay.
Choosing one of these options is absolutely paramount to dealing with the end of your relationship.
You may momentarily regret expressing how you feel, but you will always retain your power.