There's a big difference between communicating and arguing.
There's a lot of talk out there about how the modern-day hookup culture officially ended love as the Boomers and Gen X once knew it. But are millennials and Gen Z really less likely to commit when dating, or are people just looking for that one perfect partner and failing because it isn't easy to do? There isn’t a checklist for figuring out whether or not you’re with The One, but there are certain dating resolutions that you may want to keep in mind as you’re trying to find that perfect person. And if your boyfriend or girlfriend does any of these nine things, then it’s a good indication it’s meant to be.
Figuring out who you’re attracted to and what you’re looking for in a relationship is what dating is all about. Maybe you’ve been dating someone for a little while but you’re not totally sure where it goes from here. What if your new partner is out there right now, thinking to themselves, “Imagine me as your girlfriend — I’d be supportive, I’d be loving, I’d be everything you’ve ever wanted in your wildest dreams.” Would you be ready to take the next step with that person?
Knowing what you want — and what you’re willing to compromise on — makes it so much easier to spot the right person when they come into your life. There are plenty of factors to keep in mind when you're thinking about entering into a long-term relationship, but these few in particular are signs you're on the same page with your SO and ready to take the next step. And who knows — these qualities you may find in a partner might make you want to put a ring on it, stat.
You Should Always Keep Things Exciting
Life is too short to spend it with someone you aren’t excited about coming home to. This person envisions their future with you, whether it’s as their date to their friend’s upcoming wedding or even going so far as to think about marriage and children together.
Matchmaker and dating expert Stef Safran of Stef and the City previously told Elite Daily, “If you see the future with excitement, that's definitely on the right track to marriage.” If your SO can’t bother to text you back or keeps flaking on plans, however, that’s a red flag.
You Should Communicate Instead Of Arguing
Everyone has a temper, and some people have shorter fuses than others. If your significant other makes an effort to communicate and listen instead of turning a disagreement into a screaming match, it’s a good sign of a healthy relationship.
Julie Spira, online dating expert and award-winning dating coach, previously told Elite Daily, "Everyone wants to be heard and understood, so it’s also more important to be a good listener than to monopolize every conversation. Just saying, 'I hear you, and appreciate that you’re sharing your thoughts and feelings with me' will improve your communication skills." It means a lot to have a relationship where you both value solving your problems together instead of “winning” an argument.
You Should Face Challenges With Maturity
Everyone matures at their own rate, but according to licensed clinical psychotherapist and relationship expert Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, the best kind of partners wait until they reach emotional maturity before entering a serious relationship.
"The benefits of waiting until important life and personal issues are more settled are that the person might have developed a greater sense of self, independence, confidence, reliability, and knowledge about what they need in an intimate partner," she previously told Elite Daily. If your partner is looking for you to complete them or fix them, then they’re probably not emotionally equipped for a relationship.
You Should Accept Your Differences
You love The Politician and all they want to watch is The Bachelor. You hate live music and they might as well move into Madison Square Garden. And that’s completely OK, as long as you can accept your differences.
Anita A. Chlipala, licensed marriage and family therapist, previously told Elite Daily, “I frequently see couples tear their relationship apart by doing things such as wanting their partner to change, by conveying to their partner that they are wrong, and criticizing and even being condescending toward their partner about their differences. If you find that you can work through these differences with respect and find win-win compromises, that’s a healthy sign.”
You Should Have Independence
First, it’s good to point out that if you’re in a serious relationship and your SO keeps your relationship a secret from their friends, that’s a definite red flag. But if your partner likes to hang out with their friends — sometimes with you, but sometimes without you — it’s not a bad thing. People need friendships for all different reasons, and there’s no need to break those friendships when you’re in a serious relationship.
Kali Rogers, founder of Blush Online Life Coaching, previously told Elite Daily, “Your personality is complex and you will always need support from different individuals in different situations.” If you have a partner who respects the time you spend with your friends and likes to hang out with their own friends as well, that is a person who values friendship — not just their own, but yours, too.
You Should Share Similar Values
The values you have make up a huge part of who you are. As relationship coach and author Fran Greene previously told Elite Daily, “Although values can be tweaked, they cannot be changed. They define who you are.” And these values are super important when it comes to finding a long-term partner.
Lesli Doares, couples consultant and marriage coach at Foundations Coaching, previously told Elite Daily, “‘The one’ has all of the attributes you require in a partner and none of the 'deal breakers.’” Attributes you require could be things like love for family and friends, being in nature, or a sense of humor. Deal breakers could include disrespecting others and not wanting to have a family. If you and your SO have a lot of the same values, it’s a great sign for your relationship.
You Should Have Mutual Trust
Trust can be a hard thing to build, but it's straight-up magical to create it with the person you love and want to be committed to for the rest of your life.
Dr. Venus Nicolino — otherwise known as Dr. V from the hit show Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars — previously told Elite Daily that in a good relationship, "You share a rock solid, mutual understanding that no matter what, both of you will stay in the game.”
You Should Meet Each Other’s Needs For Physical Affection
Everyone’s got their own preferences and needs when it comes to receiving physical affection. Some people need a lot of physical affection to maintain a sense of intimacy; others would rather keep it to a minimum. Wherever you fall on that spectrum, it’s important for your partner to be on the same page.
If you require more physical affection from a partner, it doesn’t make you needy or clingy. And intimacy isn’t just about sex, either. As Sonya Schwartz, a relationship expert and owner of Her Aspiration, previously told Elite Daily, "Connecting physically besides sex builds trust and confidence within the couple. It helps the partners become comfortable to one another and improves their overall relationship."
You Should Believe In Each Other
Love can be the ultimate source of motivation. Online dating coach Andi Forness previously told Elite Daily the one who's "perfect for you is the person that inspires you to be the best version of yourself at any given stage."
There’s nothing better than feeling supported when you get that new job offer, or when you decide to start a new side hustle, like writing your own book. Your SO should make you feel like you can do anything.
If you and your partner stick by these resolutions in your relationship, then chances are you two have a long future ahead of you.
Stef Safran, matchmaker and dating expert for Stef and the City
Julie Spira, online dating expert and dating coach
Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, licensed clinical psychotherapist and relationship expert
Anita A. Chlipala, licensed marriage and family therapist
Kali Rogers, founder of Blush Online Life Coaching
Fran Greene, relationship coach and author
Lesli Doares, couples consultant and marriage coach at Foundations Coaching
Dr. Venus Nicolino, Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars host
Sonya Schwartz, a relationship expert and owner of Her Aspiration
Andi Forness, online dating coach
Editor's Note: This story has been updated by Elite Daily Staff.
This article was originally published on