Here's What You Should Expect At Each Stage Of Dating A Cancer Man

Here's What You Should Expect At Each Stage Of Dating A Cancer Man

These affectionate, sensitive guys make amazing boyfriends.

by Sarah
Originally Published: 
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In this day and age, finding someone you instantly click with can be a bit of a challenge, but dating a Cancer can make the process so much smoother. I mean, they’re nurturing, family-oriented and romantic — what more could you ask for? These individuals make phenomenal partners, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re always easy to understand. Relationships are complicated, no matter what sign your partner was born under, but that’s what makes them so much fun. The more deeply you get to know each other, the more clearly you understand what makes each other tick.

I've been in a relationship with my Cancer boyfriend for over four years. After all this time, I think I'm finally able to say I have him almost all figured out. Since Cancer is a water sign, these individuals can go through frequent moody spells. They are some of the most sensitive people you’ll ever meet, which can make it difficult to understand why they’re feeling a certain way sometimes. Think about it — a sign that’s ruled by the moon, the luminary that’s constantly waxing and waning, is bound to go through many emotional ups and downs.

If you’re navigating an exciting new relationship with a Cancer, you’ll be glad to know that they are cardinal signs, meaning that they actively seek relationships that provide a mutual sense of emotional security. You’ll never have to worry about your Cancerian partner not having the capacity to deal with your feelings — in fact, that’s their specialty. While there’s no such thing as a perfect person, these individuals make the dating process a lot easier.

That said, there are still some important things to keep in mind as you navigate every stage of your relationship with a Cancer. What you need to know at every stage of your relationship with a male Cancer can depend entirely on the individual, but there are a few traits you’ll probably recognize.

Here's everything I wish someone had told me about what it would be like dating those special guys born between June 22 and July 22.

Before You Date A Cancer Man...


First off, before a Cancer guy even asks you out, he has to do his own extensive risk-benefit analysis about you. Here's why: Cancer guys are not spontaneous and don't do anything on a whim. Everything is done with careful research, from the car he drives to the new phone he purchases. The person of his dreams is no different. After all, Cancer men value stability above all things, and he'll take time deciding if you're safe.

Don't get it confused, though — Cancers are cautious, not indecisive. They move very quickly when they see what they want. If a Cancer asks you out, it’s because he’s genuinely interested in exploring a potential relationship between you two. He’s not going to waste his time or yours.

Cancer men definitely come off a bit shy at first, but once they warm up to you, they make their interest known. They tend to slowly test the waters with you in order to figure out if you can be trusted, and once you’re in, you’re in. They hate to feel rushed, and have to feel things out before making any sudden moves. It’s best not to rush them into anything, because they prioritize sitting with their feelings over all else before making their mind up about something. As a water sign, feeling comfortable around someone is everything, and Cancers can usually tell if they’ve hit it off with someone right away. Be sure to make it known that you’re reliable and trustworthy, and you’ll be a shoo-in.

How A Cancer Man Asks You Out

Once a Cancer man decides he’s able to trust you, he won’t hesitate to ask you out. Expect a very romantic first date, with lots of affection and emotional vulnerability from this person. As a water sign, Cancers look for deep emotional connections over all else, so be sure to keep a mental note of that. They also tend to be very family-oriented, so I wouldn’t be surprised if on the first date he talks about his parents or siblings at some point. When you’re on your first date, you may notice that your Cancerian tends to get a little defensive if you bring up a touchy subject, so be sure to tread lightly in the beginning. Some Cancers are more sensitive than others, but their heart is always in the right place.

Before we started dating, I told a mutual friend I wasn't sure how I felt about my now-boyfriend. I told her I needed more time to think of him as a potential boyfriend. The result? He didn't try to make plans with me or even text me for four months afterward. Classic Cancer behavior. Reject them once, and they'll retreat into their shell. And it's a ton of work to coax them back out after that. This is because Cancer guys are sensitive and practically rejection-phobic.

They hate failure. So if you turn him down or string him along, a Cancer guy is going to brood over that for a while. In fact, most Cancers respond passive-aggressively to such treatment. Armed with this knowledge, always proceed with gentleness and caution.

The Honeymoon Phase Of Your Relationship

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Now you're a couple, and you're in for a treat. Cancer guys are some of the most loving and steadfast partners in the zodiac. They’re always looking to care for you and nurture your every need. Despite all this, they still do tend to be highly sensitive when it comes to their own emotions, so be sure to reciprocate their energy as best you can.

As you continue to get to know your Cancer partner, you will discover that they aren’t always the most transparent people right away. Like a crab, they have a pretty tough outer shell that takes time to crack. This doesn’t mean that they aren’t interested, just that trust is something that is built over time. Cancerians can be shy and don’t always love talking about themselves. You'll find they are more than happy to sit back and let you talk about yourself all night, which is nice, but it makes getting to know them so much harder.

There were many times at the beginning of my relationship where I swore I was doing the whole girlfriend thing wrong. I'd want to surprise my boyfriend with a milkshake from Chick-fil-A, only to embarrassingly discover at the counter that I actually didn't know what his favorite kind was. Like me, you may find yourself failing at answering basic questions about him, like what his favorite hobbies are or whether he prefers whiskey or vodka.

Cancer guys are not open books, and you'll feel like you're desperately rummaging through the pages, trying to find his answer key. Don't be discouraged. Cancer guys don't actually come out and tell you any of their likes and dislikes right away. They reveal themselves slowly to you over time. Those are the hardest kinds of people to get to know.

The good thing is, you usually have all the time in the world. Cancers are notoriously dedicated and loyal. He's not going anywhere, so start taking some notes.

As you adjust to your role as a girlfriend to a Cancer, you'll no longer feel like you're just treading water. Now and only now can you enjoy the "honeymoon" phase. You'll love how caring your Cancer is. He's nothing like the last jerk you dated, you'll smile and think to yourself.

In the beginning, he may have come off as a little cold and hard to reach, but that was just his way of protecting himself from potentially getting hurt. Now that you're with him, you're in. Cancers are all-or-nothing kinds of people, so once they’re committed to you, they’re here to stay. Even in this honeymoon phase, they’ll be talking about future plans and even the possibility of starting a family with you. They love being in love, and tend to fall very hard very fast. It’s important to implement boundaries in your relationship with a Cancer from the beginning though, because otherwise they may quickly build their life around being with you. Once they see you as a part of their future, they tend to stick around.

He's loving and always there for you. You’re sick and throwing up? He cleans you up and tucks you into bed. You locked yourself out of your apartment? He tells you to come sleep at his. A dinner date is really important to you? He says he wouldn't miss it for the world.

You'll notice your Cancer might not always have a way with words. He's not effusive and poetic like some other signs are. But you have something better than his words. You have his actions as proof that he loves you. He teaches you how invaluable actions are over trite words every day.

How Cancer Men Think About Sex

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When it comes to intimacy, Cancers are all about emotional connection first. The deeper the emotional bond, the better the sex for them. They’re very sensual people, and love to cater to their partners. They get pretty vulnerable in the bedroom, and as emotionally expressive people, you’ll know exactly how they feel about you through their affection.

How Cancer Men Argue

For all these pluses, there are still going to be fights, and fighting a Cancer guy is not fun. They are sulky when hurt, withdrawing into their shells to lick their wounds. They have a long memory, and they will use that against you in a fight.

They do not like confrontation, and this makes arguing with them hard. Your Cancer boyfriend may never really tell you when you've done something wrong or something that upset him. Still, he'll be keeping score all the same, and he may even act out as a means to settle that score. Don't be afraid to call him out on this. He may not be aware he’s doing it.

A Cancer partner is likely pretty passive-aggressive when angry too, so don’t expect them to always be open and honest about what’s bothering them. They prefer for their partners to ask them “What’s wrong?” because they hate feeling like they’re being a bother. When they get upset, it’s important to listen to them as they share their grievances. They hate feeling like their person doesn’t care about their feelings, so be sure to validate them as much as you can. Arguing with them is usually a very emotional task too, so be sure to keep a level head if you can.

Other people may notice his committed and caring nature, and this can be bad for the unassuming and non-confrontational crab. Cancers are not so good at enforcing boundaries. Despite these fights, just remember: A Cancer guy never forgets his commitments, especially to the person he made them to.

What The Future Of Your Relationship Might Look Like

There are some key things to know about staying in a relationship with a Cancer. They’re going to need lots of alone time. They're very autonomous. They’re also really good at managing money and expect the same from his partner. You'll never have to worry that he won't have enough saved for that dream vacation you two planned or for the down payment on your first apartment together.

Though he may not always show it, Cancers crave affection. So when you're with him, really be present. He's a natural-born protector, so it's OK to let your guard down once in a while and let him know that you need him.

Cancer guys believe their home is their castle. All his memories are encapsulated in the photos, shot glasses, posters, and other random items he has collected and proudly displayed on the shelves and walls of his room or house. Ask him about these things. Help him build his collection, and become part of his story.

Cancerians love planning for the future with their partners, so don’t be surprised when they ask you where you see your relationship going down the line. If they’re going to invest in someone, they definitely want to ensure that the feelings are mutual. A Cancer man’s behavior in love is always trustworthy and reliable, so you never have to worry about them leaving you high and dry. At the end of the day, they want to come home to a partner that loves and appreciates them through every up and down you may face, and they’ll always be sure to do the same for you.

Lastly, his love for his family is enormous; it’s something you may have loved about him since the very beginning. If you're lucky enough to keep the heart of a guy who's a Cancer, who knows? You might just become part of his family someday.

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