What in the hell is this world coming to when it comes to dating? Why did our generation start this talking stage as a prime source of dating? What even is the talking stage?
The talking stage sucks in a relationship. It's a secret little demon, sitting, waiting for sh*t to hit the fan.
Confusion, stress, anger, love, torture and overthinking all come wrapped up into one big present, waiting for us to open it up before we even become official with someone.
It's like we put our brains and hearts through a roller coaster before we even consider labeling an official relationship. So, basically, we're going through the struggle of a relationship without the official relationship. Interesting...
The ugly truth of the talking stage is that it sucks. Here's why:
1. Explaining what the relationship is to your family and friends is just flat-out exhausting.
People know what the "we're talking" line means, but every talking stage in a relationship is different. They want to know exactly what yours is.
Questions abound about your new fling: Do you hang out regularly? What do you guys do together? Is it moving toward something serious? How much do you like this person?
Plus, your parents will never understand why you're only "talking" to someone.
2. The boundaries of what you can bring up and what you can't is confusing.
You hear a rumor that the person to whom you're talking was seen leaving with someone from the bars; do you bring it up? You two are truly only in the talking stage, so can you even have an opinion on what he or she does when you aren't there?
You can't bring up what you've been imagining because, frankly, you don't want to be a stage-five clinger in the talking stage; nothing will send someone running for the hills faster.
3. The frustration of what to post on your Instagram is just too much.
You took a total Instagram-worthy selfie with your not-so-significant other. But, do you post it? And, if you do, do you tag him or her? What's the caption? Should you even acknowledge you were together? What if people comment thinking you're a couple?
Actually, just forget about posting that selfie.
4. Your partner has zero responsibility.
Think about it: One day, you two are in the full-on "talking" stage (which means you're talking 24/7), flirting, laughing and planning, then the next day, complete silence. The sad thing about this stage is that's an okay thing to do.
You don't deserve an explanation, nor do you have any right to get upset. Basically, you're playing a game with this person. You're trying to discover as much as you can about one another -- without getting too serious.
5. You're constantly focused on "whatever this is."
When you're in the talking stage, you'll either end up as a couple, or you won't. You can be stuck in thought, or you can stand up to this person and inquire about what the hell you two have going on.
Bringing up the "what are we" conversation is scary, so drop hints or try some trickery to figure it out.
But, if you're in the talking stage, you should be able to be rational adults and tell each other what you see coming for the two of you. Otherwise, how would any sort of healthy relationship form?
6. You're unofficially together.
Honestly, you have zero idea who else this person could be talking with, so you have the right to do the same. But, if you ever went to sleep with another person, you'd feel a little bit of guilt. Even if you aren't officially together, you feel like you are.
If you like the person enough to be in the talking stage exclusively, more than likely, you like him or her enough to just be exclusive.
You still have to give this person some privacy because you aren't dating, so you can't go asking questions about who he or she may be sleeping or talking with.
Still, if you're sleeping with this person, you have a right to know for your health purposes. Bringing up those questions can be nerve-wracking and, frankly, you don't want to know the answers.
But, if you're sexually active with your talking-stage lover, you should be emotionally comfortable with talking about things like that.
7. If you don't become official, you don't get proper closure.
You hate that you didn't end up leaving the talking stage, but you hate even more that you don't know why you didn't.
Neither of you can say a relationship didn't work because you really didn't have one. So, here come the night thoughts and the tears.
The talking stage is just a sucky spot to be in, though it may be inevitable today's world. If you find yourself in a talking stage, give yourself a time limit to figure out what you want.
This way, you save yourself and your potential partner the unnecessary pain.