Tell me if this sounds familiar: You've met someone you like and you've been dating for a while. There's a connection, you seem to like each other, but for some reason you're stalled out in that limbo between casual dating and commitment. It's a weird, frustrating, and super confusing place to be, but here's the good news: Making your relationship official doesn't have to be complicated. In fact, you can avoid this situation altogether by being open about what type of relationship you want from the very beginning, says Lisa Concepcion, certified dating and relationship expert and founder of LoveQuest Coaching.
"It is so important for people to be very clear about the kind of relationship they are interested in creating and with whom," Concepcion tells Elite Daily. "Without this clarity, people are basically dating without purpose. It's up to you to ask the right questions and communicate your intentions very clearly right from the start as not to linger in this uncertainty and limbo between dating and becoming official."
While that's true, and great advice moving forward, the question remains: What do you do if you're already in that limbo? How do you move forward and actually define the relationship? Here's how the experts say you can move your relationship out of the grey zone and into something official.
If you want the relationship to be committed, then the first step is to start acting like it is, Connell Barrett, Dating Transformation founder and executive dating coach, tells Elite Daily. “If you want to graduate from casual dating to an official relationship … assert a ‘relationship frame,'” he says. “Suggest dates and activities that couples do. Have ‘date nights.’ Take a weekend trip. Introduce the other person to your friends and social circle. Asserting this relationship context shows the other person what it’s like to be in a committed relationship with you, helping to thaw any cold feet,” explains Barrett.
Along with walking the walk, Barrett says you have to talk to the talk. As in, have the talk even if that means making yourself feel vulnerable. “If you want a relationship, tell them how you’re only interested in dating them, while telling them why they’re so wonderful,” says Barrett. But avoid trying to pressure them into moving forward. “No one wants to be talked into an ‘official relationship.’ But by sharing what you want, you give them the green light to open up and share what they want. And you might want the same thing!”
Admittedly, being direct in this way can be scary, but the experts agree that the best way to get what you want out of this situation is to communicate it. “Yes, this conversation can be scary, because you’re opening yourself up to rejection,” says Barrett. “But sometimes you must state clearly what you want in order to turn a Casual Other into a Significant Other. When in doubt, be bold and honest!” he concludes.
It's also worth remembering that if you are hoping to move forward but are stuck in limbo, there is a very good chance that the person you're dating is feeling the same way and is just as nervous about speaking up. So, when you’re ready, consider speaking your truth. It may just prove to be the first step in your amazing love story.
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