The time has come when summer melts away and our summer blues are out in full force. Somehow the temperature has dropped 10 degrees over the past week, making us trade our short-shorts in for jeans.
As we try and come to grips with the fact that we won't be spending our weekends setting off to the beach, we actually realize one strange thing: We are excited for the fall.
Give me all of the scarves, sweaters and pumpkin-ish things because I'm basic white girling so hard over ~*FaLl~* — Hell On Heels (@HellOnHeelsGirl) September 9, 2014
The speed of the summer is enough to drive anyone into hibernation, which is why we are finally ready for the next season.
But who loves fall more than basic bitches? The answer: no one. But why? For endless reasons, of course.
(Don't worry, I'll meet you over there...)
1. The Uniform
Goodbye bikinis and hello leather boots. The best part about the fall is that you can guarantee yourself 10 more minutes of sleep since you know what you will be wearing on any given day: leggings, a cable knit sweater and some type of boot.
Sure, we may look like every other 20-something female walking down the street, but we don't give a f*ck because we're well rested and comfortable. And, honestly, is there anything more to strive for in life than that? I think not...
2. Less Showering
"No more frizz and no more sweating!," I exclaimed to my Jewfro when I realized there was absolutely no humidity in the air.
The amount you need to shower decreases exponentially as seasons progress and, let's be honest, this might be the best part about the fall. The temperature outside finally matches the temperature inside your office; no more going from rapid heat to freezing climates.
Finally the blow out you gave yourself will actually last for more than 24-hours, giving us more time to do the fall things we love, like shopping for more pairs of black leggings.
3. We're All Equally Pale
Finally, every female is basically back to the same playing field as our summer tan fades into a pale fall shade. The only solution to this obvious problem is depleting our wallets to stock up on bronzer from Sephora.
Spray tans will only get you so far before you start resembling an oompa loompa. But don't worry — this is the time of the year to embrace your lily-white skin because you can just cover it with layers upon cable knit sweaters upon infinity scarves.
4. Instagram Overload
How many pictures of fallen leaves and multi-color trees is enough? Apparently to the basic bitch, the limit does not exist in the fall. You can basically guarantee an average of 3 PPW (posts per weekend) during the months that span from September to the beginning of December.
Will you physically like it? Yes. Will you emotionally like it? Abso-f*cking-lutely not. But the vicious cycle will continue until the first snowflake falls... and you know what will happen then. #WinterWonderland.
5. From Iced Coffee To PSL-EVERYTHING
As the temperature drops, so does our tolerance for ice cold bevys in our hands. Thank God for Pumpkin Spice Lattes or we'd be SOL on the coffee front. Starbucks basically just capitalized on the idea of basic bitches when conceptualizing this product.
I mean who else would fall for this gimmick? Exactly...
6. Eating Whatever The F You Want
Praise the lord, bikini season is over! Now we can finally go back to eating everything we shunned back in June. Bring on the oversized sweaters and oversized portions of mac and cheese because I don't give a sh*t about what I look like under these clothes any more.
Horizontal Seamless Sundays are back in action -- and we wouldn't have it any other way. No more calorie counting and no more feeling guilty about skipping that fitness class!
It's windy out; I don't have a boyfriend for cuffing season; the line for Starbucks is out the door...
Ah, the fall brings with it a whole new set of problems for basic bitches to complain about and, honestly, what's a a girl's favorite pastime? That's right: complaining. We love complaining because it brings all the attention back on ourselves in a passive-aggressive manner.
Don't worry, it's all in good fun as we don't really mean half of what we're saying, we just like to talk.
8. The iPhone 6
Because we don't all already look the same in our leggings and infinity scarves, we now have the technology to go with it. The iPhone 6 is looking to be Apple's greatest invention yet (Aren't they all, though?) and no basic bitch can go about life rocking a prehistoric cell phone model — I mean that's basically just social suicide.
Just take a look at these 15 reasons why basic bitches can't wait to get their hands on the new iPhone, and see if you don't agree with me on this one.
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It