3 Red Flags Your Hot Spring Break Fling Shouldn't Last When You're Back On Campus
Spring break essentials: sunglasses, bathing suits, headphones, and... a spring break fling? Yup! That's not just a thing that happens in the movies or in romance novels. A spring break fling might be a lot shorter than your summer romance but it can be just as much fun.
Most colleges have spring breaks that coincide with each other, which means that the chances of you meeting some hottie at a bar in the beach town you're visiting for a week are pretty high. There's more people your age around, booze is cheap and seemingly endless, and real clothes are optional. You do the math.
After spending a few carefree days with the person you swear is your kindred spirit, you might be wondering how to turn your fling into a serious relationship — but wait! Don't create that Pinterest wedding board just yet. There are questions you should ask yourself before agreeing to be official with your hookup and they go beyond, "What's your favorite song by The Chainsmokers right now?" I'm not saying you can't connect with someone over EDM and cheap beer. I'm just saying it might not be a lifelong connection.
I spoke with Nicole Richardson, a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship problems, about how to tell if your spring break fling is the real deal or if you should leave it at the beach when you go back to college. According to her, there are three obvious signs your fling is ready to be flung out of your life for good.
They Tell You They're Just Looking To Have Fun
You know that song by Big Sean where he says, "I'm here for a good time, not a long time"? That's this person's motto and they're not shy about it, like at all. Richardson says, "If you ask someone what they want and they tell you they want to ‘have fun,’ they are not looking for a ‘til-death-do-us-part experience. Listen to them. Something that gets us into trouble is when people tell us what they want and we hear what we want to hear." If your hookup says they're not looking for anything serious, don't delude yourself into thinking you can change their mind. It's not worth the time, the effort, or the heartbreak.
Outside Of Spring Break, You Both Have Very Different Ideas Of Fun
Everyone goes wild on spring break but if that's not usually who you are, you might be totally incompatible with your hookup when you get back to campus. If you think you might have a future with the person you've been hanging out with, make sure you're getting to know the real them and not just their spring break alter ego. They should be able to say the same about you, too. Finding out that they actually spend most of their time dancing on bar tops whereas that's more of a seasonal activity for you might be a dealbreaker.
They Don't Share Your Life Goals Or Have Any Of Their Own
Although Richardson admits two people can share a bond even if they don't share the same interests, she says what's important is a sense of clarity and self-awareness. "I think that people who have very little in common can have great connections that can last a lifetime. But the difference between fun for now and a lasting connection is knowing what you are both interested in and needing at the time," she tells Elite Daily. More than opening up about what you want out of life right now, you should also discuss your personal goals for the future. If the person you're seeing has difficulty visualizing their own future — much less one with you in it — they might not be ready for a relationship.
Sometimes, the best thing about our seasonal flings is how fleeting they are. The idea that you can be anyone you want to be because you'll probably never see this person again is liberating and just what you need on vacation.
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