When Your Significant Other Is Falling Out Of Love With You, Here's How You'll Know
It seems like half of country music is made up of songs about your significant other falling out of love with you. Of course, the other half of country tunes are about drinking at the beach, which is probably not unrelated. Checking in with your partner about how you're both feeling isn't always easy, especially when you sense them pulling away. If you're starting to think your boo is falling out of love with you, it doesn't necessarily mean the end is near.
"First and foremost, it isn’t always easy to know if your partner is falling out of love with you or if, as a couple, you are just going through a rough patch," Dr. Gary Brown, a prominent dating and relationship therapist in Los Angeles, tells Elite Daily.
If you've been fighting a lot lately or haven't had sex in like, a Sex And The City Movie, Miranda and Steve style,"There was snow on the ground!" while, it's natural to begin to question where you and your boo are standing in your relationship. (Of course, it's also natural to argue and to not have sex all the time, or at all, in any stage of a relationship.) The best thing to do with your boo when you're starting to sense your love drifting, is to talk about it.
Here are a few signs that your partner may be falling out of love, so you can keep a look out.
If you and your boo live together, or live near each other, chances are you spend a lot of time together. If you've sensed a changed in the frequency or intentionality of your physical intimacy, it could be time to talk.
"They used to initiate physical affection, and now you notice that they no longer want to hold hands or cuddle," Dr. Brown says. "They prefer to spend more time away from your physical presence. They don’t offer to help with the dishes, take out the trash, or any other chores that they used to reliably do. They're utterly absorbed in electronic devices to the point of obsession."
If you're struggling to make or keep eye contact, or to share space on a bed or couch, it could mean it's time for a check in.
When you're dating someone, you probably want to make your boo feel special. Of course everyone has a different love language, and where gifts for some don't compare to quality time for others, your boo is most likely trying to understand what makes you feel cared for. If you're feeling a lack of communication or lack of emotions, it could be a reason to have a talk.
"They no longer ask for your opinion about things that are important to them. They don’t initiate important conversations," Dr. Brown says. "If anything, they are clearly avoiding talking to you. They no longer say, 'I love you.' They don’t express any gratitude for nice things you do for them. They don’t ask if there is anything he can do for you to make your day a little better."
If you like to have your boo be your partner in crime, it may be imperative to your relationship that they understand how you're feeling, and are trying to connect with and support you. If you're sensing a communication gap, it may be even more important to get to talking.
It's important to remember that if you're feeling like your boo isn't making you feel special or cared for, it's OK for you to be the one to start to question where the relationship is headed. You deserve to be loved and cared for, and if someone can't give you that, the loss is truly theirs.
According to Dr. Brown, the questions to ask yourself are, "Is this emotional estrangement something you can live with long-term? Are you too willing to settle for a loveless relationship just for the sake of saying that you are in a relationship? Honestly ask yourself if it is clear that not only have they fallen out of love with you, but that it is painfully clear that things are hopelessly beyond repair."
If you're not getting the attention and lovin' you deserve, it's ok for you to realize it's not going to work. "Everyone deserves to have love in their life," Dr. Brown says." Don’t settle for less. Instead, decide that you are going to settle for more!"
If you're starting to feel like your love is slipping away, don't panic. Relationships take work and effort, and sometimes a rough patch is just that — a patch. Yet, if you're feeling ignored or pushed aside, it may be time for a check in. You deserve to feel smart and strong and celebrated by your partner, no matter what.