Positive affirmations are powerful. Having statements or even words that you can repeat to yourself can give you strength when you're feeling weak and remind you to be kind to yourself when you could use some self love. Of course, mantras and affirmations also come in handy when you want to have the best sex of your life. From reminding yourself to make time to feel sexy to giving yourself permission to feel your feels and state your needs — when it comes to getting frisky like you never have before, sexual mantras can be incredibly empowering.
For a lot of people, sex can be personal, intimidating, and sometimes overwhelming. Discovering new things you're into or finding different ways to get it on can be totally fun and totally hot. Of course when it comes to having sex, you may find some things that do not feel fun or hot. If something's not for you, it is always OK to give it pass. Regardless of how many partners you've had or not had, finding your strength and your sexy can take a long time.
If you are hoping to feel more in tune with your body and your partners during sex, try sitting with some of these seven inspiring mantras about doing the dirty.
Whether you want to try a new position, playing with handcuffs, or you've been thinking that incorporating your trusty vibrator would put your sex over the edge — you deserve to act on your desires. As long as sex is consensual and you and your partner(s) have discussed boundaries, you're allowed to want what you want and don't need to feel ashamed to ask for it.
From feeling a little self conscious about your belly to thinking about your student loan payments, sometimes there's a lot on your mind even when you're getting it on. Being present and being intentional with your sex can make for sky rockets in the bedroom. Whether meditating before getting it on helps you to focus or ensuring that there's plenty of foreplay gets your body and your mind in the mood, centering on being present while having sex can make it an amazing experience.
With all sex and dating, it's sometimes scary how easy self-doubt starts to creep in, make you feel like you're not "hot" enough or "exciting" enough to have the sex you want to be having. So read it here: You are enough. You are so hot and so exciting and so cool. You are allowed to want things. You are allowed to take your needs and wants seriously, and to advocate for the sex you want to be having.
When movies and TV only show sex between thin, white, straight people, it can be easy then to subconsciously start to believe that only other people are the ones who are "allowed" to get to try new things or have the best sex ever. If you want more hand holding or more kissing, if you want more time on top, you don't need to feel like certain types of sex are reserved for people other than you. You are the Hollywood actor you're comparing yourself to. You have the mystique of the girl with the floral tattoo from your Sociology class that looked like a Free People model or the brooding sexiness of that band person who wears a lot of Carhartt and is secretly a trust fund kid. You and all the beautiful and unique things that make you who you are, make you the hot person of your dreams. And you deserve to get it on the way you think is reserved for others.
When having sex your body may make noises you didn't know it could or exude liquids you've never seen. Sex can get messy. You don't need to always have your back arched in a sexy way or always speak in your bedroom voice. It's OK to laugh, it's OK to be surprised by something, it's OK to stop having sex at any point for any reason. Your sex isn't going to perfect it's going to be real. (And so will the orgasms.)
Before you dive into something new, it's imperative to ask the people you're sleeping with for consent. If everyone is on the same page, taking risks and trying new things as they come can be super hot and exciting. Whether you're getting it on with yourself, your boo, or within some sexy group sex situation, sometimes trying new things can be a great way to learn what you like — but remember, only what you're comfortable with!
You're allowed to want to finish and you're allowed to find out what you need from your partners to get you there. Sex is about you, too. You deserve to be there and deserve to be interacted with in the ways that you want to be. If incorporating masturbation before or after penetrative sex gets you off, or if you find your body responds better to oral sex or fingering, you're allowed to ask for it. You can establish what you need to orgasm and you can prioritize your own pleasure.
You are a powerhouse and you deserve to have the sex you want to be having. Checking in with the people you sleep with, —and more importantly, with yourself — before getting it on can ensure everyone is leaving happy and healthy.
