If you believe in soulmates and are currently on the hunt for yours, you might be realizing that finding your soulmate is easier said then done. As it turns out, the best way to attract your soulmate can be to fall back and let them come to you, according to love advice from CEOs. While a soulmate can be a close friend, it's often a romantic partner who's your soulmate. You'll know them when you meet them, because they make you feel safe as well as adored. It's the partner who makes you laugh a whole bunch and lose track of time. And it's the person with whom you can be your true, unadulterated self around.
When it comes to advice on finding your soulmate, take it from the women and non-binary folks who have been through it and who know a good thing when they see one. Finding your soulmate takes time and patience. And the conscious decision to stop looking so hard. There also has to be an acknowledgement that sometimes, a soulmate isn't a "forever" person. If you like the person you're dating well enough, but don't feel like they're your soulmate? That's perfectly OK, too. If you do want to find the person you're destined to be with — whatever that looks like for you — here's some advice from eight CEOs on how you can do just that.
Brittany Chavez is the CEO of Shop Latinx, a national directory for Latinx business owners. Chavez believes that you can have multiple soulmates — either romantically or platonically — and each one serves a purpose in your life. So, how do you find them? "First rule of advice: Don’t look. Personally speaking, I have spent too much of my late teens and 20s searching for a romantic partner when I should have channeled that energy and searched within myself," Chavez says. "Everything you need or could ever want is within you. Love will come when you’re ready."
The advice from Kati Holland, CEO of CBD company Not Pot, is simple: "Be yourself, and never settle. And if the relationship isn’t a 'hell, yeah,' it’s a 'hell, no.'" Originally, Holland didn't believe in roommates. "But I think it was because I hadn’t found 'my person' yet," Holland says. "I feel like the best way to find your soulmate(s) is to stop looking and just live. If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen —as cheesy as it sounds."
Lillian Daniels, who started sustainable, fair trade, and women-focused fashion company The Bali Bead, recommends starting with places that feed your soul in order to find a soulmate. "When looking for a romantic soulmate I would suggest spending time in places that bring you great joy and that you would not mind going to with your soulmate," Daniels says. For example, Daniels likes to run and do yoga. So she enjoys running into people while she's out and about, or at a studio. "You will have a lot to talk about because it is something that you really enjoy."
Daniels also says it's important to get in touch with yourself, too. That way, you'll know what kind of partner is best suited for you. And lastly, she says to keep in mind that every person who comes into your life will play a different role. "Note that some people are seasonal," Daniels says, and others are meant to be around either as a close friends or romantic partners.
Vanessa Acosta, who runs ethical, pro-woman, and pro-indigenous brand Wasi Clothing, reminds us that, "Our soulmates usually don't fit in the box that we create for them." Sometimes, we get hung up on this idealized version of our soulmate and we stubbornly grasp onto a certain set of criteria. Don't settle, Acosta advises, but know that everyone has to compromise somewhere. "Be open to meeting people you wouldn't usually give the time of day and surprise yourself."
Acosta also points out how she met her partner at unlikely time. "I was not ready to meet someone, but went on the date anyways, and was pleasantly surprised with the emotional connection we had," Acosta says. "Our styles were different, our music tastes were different, but deep in our roots and fundamentals, we felt natural together."
Just like Acosta, Blue House Bikinis CEO Amanda Brocksmith found love at the most unexpected time. "You never know when someone special will walk into your life," Brocksmith says. She met the love of her life just three days after breaking up with her long-term boyfriend in college. "We’ve been together since, but I almost ruined it for myself because I thought that there was no way this was anything special since I was going through a breakup," Brocksmith says. "Um, I was so wrong."
Jacque Aye, who founded of nerdy black girl lifestyle brand Adorned by Chi, believes in soulmates "100 percent." For Aye, you can't seek them out: You just run into soulmates as you navigate through life. "And even when you do bump into one another, it still may not work out. I believe I met my soulmate," Aye says. "We just don't make great romantic partners and that's OK! The best advice I can give is to fall in love with yourself first. Fall in love with you before you love anyone else."
Cade Roach is the owner of full-service creative agency and literature-inspired shop Hey Atlas Creative. Like Daniels, Roach says that turning to your existing passions is a great way to start. "I like to think that the way you find your soulmate is to start on a path that fills your life with joy and fulfillment and passion," Roach says. "I met my now-husband, almost instantly, at a time in my life when I finally started to see the kind of life I truly wanted to create for myself," Roach says. He was the missing piece for them, the partner they were meant to share their life's journey with. "Once I began," Roach says, "There he was."
Kyla Brown, who runs body-positive, POC-centered lingerie shop Underthing, doesn't really believe in soulmates. But she does believe that people come into your life for "a reason and a season," as the saying goes. "The idea of a soulmate puts pressure on us to search for 'the one,' which is pretty unrealistic as no one person can give us everything we need," Brown says. Like Holland and Chavez, she likes the idea of stumbling upon a partner, rather than searching for one. "This approach to love is fun, instead of dreadfully urgent," Brown explains. "I think that when you find bae while bopping around and doing the things you love, they get to be a lovely addition to your already lovely life, versus being a final destination."
While everyone's advice varies a bit, the verdict is in: If you're looking for love, stop looking. That doesn't mean stop swiping through Tinder or asking people out on dates. Instead, continue to put yourself out there — just don't stress about finding the perfect partner. Let them come to you. Enjoying the journey and stay hyped about what life has in store for you.
