Planning a wedding can really take a village. From florists and bakers to seamstresses and musicians, getting a ring on your finger can call for all hands on deck. You may be feeling overwhelmed by decorations and stationery, or wondering how to make everyone feel included in your special day. If you're considering letting your mother help plan your wedding, I don't blame you. Maybe your mom has seen you through all your dating ups and downs. If so, getting her help on your big day may feel totally special for both of you.
Although you may be completely sure about the dress you want to wear, or you've had your colors and flowers picked out for years, having some help along the way can make a big difference. Connecting with older women in your family or community can help you stay calm and feel as supported as possible as you plan your big day. If you're not super tight with your literal mom, an aunt or sister can be an amazing helper as well. Mothers and mother-figures come in all shapes and sizes.
I asked nine people how their mom helped them plan their big day, and what they said will warm your heart.
1. She helped me focus on what I wanted.
My mom was so helpful at first because there was just too much planning for me to do by myself, but after a couple of weeks, I could tell she was trying to create the wedding she always wanted. I had to have a talk with her about being less involved. But ultimately, I couldn't have done it without her, and she really helped me focus on what I did want.
— Gina, 26
2. Her baking insight was awesome.
I’ve never been a foodie, so having her insight was awesome. My mother is a baker, and there was no question about it: She was going to bake the cake. But she and her team actually developed a whole thing donuts and sweets, in addition to the cake.
— Chloe, 29
3. She was a big help in pruning down the guest list.
Well, she saw me getting so burnt out and frustrated and kind of insisted on helping, but honestly, I was better for it. When we booked the space, we didn't realize that it wouldn't hold all the people we had thought of inviting. My mom was a big help in pruning down the guest list. It was so fun to hear all her tea about my extended family and to see who she wouldn't mind not having there.
— Lucy, 31
4. She made delicious cheesecake.
She let me use her house to keep the floral arrangements and different decorations because she lived closer to the venue that I did. She also made a delicious cheesecake for the bridal shower.
— Jackie, 28
5. She helped me plan and make decisions.
I am the most indecisive person on the planet, so my mom helped me plan and make decisions to ensure that the wedding date wasn’t pushed back 50 times because I couldn’t decide on the type of twinkle lights I wanted.
— Clara, 30
6. She's a no-drama mama.
She’s organized and clearheaded, a real no-drama mama. I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else to do it. Honestly, my wedding was beautiful. I couldn’t have done it without her.
— Mary, 26
7. She was able to make all the tough decisions.
When I asked my mom to help me plan my wedding, I was nervous she’d take over. But I found that she was able to make all the tough decisions that, with everything else going on, overwhelmed me. Because of her, the reception was stylistically cohesive in a way I probably couldn’t have pulled off myself!
— Akima, 27
8. It helped us work through a lot of our issues.
My mom helped me plan my wedding as her way of saying, 'I still feel a little weird that you’re gay, but I am so relieved you found someone you love.' It helped us work through a lot of our issues, and it was nice to have a lot of little tasks and projects to do. She also showed off her great taste in decor.
— Dion, 30
9. She helped create a personalized theme.
I'm not super visual or artistic, and mom is an artist and helped us create a personalized theme. She did all the stationary and thought about the color scheme and flowers.
— Jenn, 32
Planning a wedding can be a huge undertaking. If you're lost in a sea of seating arrangements and cake tasting, try asking your mother or other loved ones for help. Though your wedding is all about you, you don't need to plan your "I do's" alone.