After a long cold winter and an unpredictable spring (shout out to Gemini season), sunny summer can be a time to really think about what makes you happy. No matter how long you've been seeing someone, if there seasons are changing and you're not sure where you head is at, it's natural to wonder if you and your boo should
take a break from your relationship this summer.
Dr. Gary Brown, a couples therapist in Los Angeles, the sunny weeks of summer can be a great time to see how you're feeling and take some space for yourself. "You can spend more active time outdoors with friends. Perhaps meet new people. If you and your partner agree, maybe even hook up or actively date others," Dr. Brown tells Elite Daily. "One of the obvious benefits of taking a break is that it gives each of you an opportunity to reassess not only the importance (or lack) of your relationship. Spending some time apart, helps bring in some perspective."
Of course, regardless of the season if you're
feeling like you need a break from your relationship, Dr. Brown shares three signs that it might be time for you to take some time for yourself. 01
Communication Is Becoming A #Struggle
According to Dr. Brown, if you and your partner are struggling to talk to each other, it might be time to a take a break from your relationship. "You can’t ever seem to find healthy ways to communicate," Dr. Brown says. "You have difficulty communicating to begin with." Whether every talk ends in a fight or you can't seem to understand where each other is coming from, struggling to communicate in a healthy way can be totally taxing. Taking some time apart during the summer may help you both understand how to communicate in a more effective way. After a little while of not talking or talking less, you may be able to hear what the other is saying more, and really listen to their and
your own needs. 02
Someone Cheated/Wanted To Cheat
If you and your boo are in a monogamous relationship, or if you're in an open thing but some boundaries were crossed —dealing with infidelity or can be totally hard to navigate. According to Dr. Brown, if there's been an affair, it may time to take some time to reassess your relationship. If you're questioning if you can trust your partner or if you want to explore what seeing other people feels like, taking some time for yourself this summer can be super insightful about how you want to move forward. You may realize you're completely in love and don't want to be with anyone else, or you may realize you and your boo are better off as friends. Whatever the answer is, you'll both be totally fine in the long run — but taking some time can make sure everyone is clear on what they want.
You Realize You're Not On The Same Page
Dr. Brown shares that many couples get together in the fall or winter time, also known as
cuffing season. While having a boo to keep you warm through the colder weather can be super sweet (and sexy) the holiday season can inspire couples to settle into relationships quickly — perhaps without fully seeing if their values and interests really align. "One or both of you realize that you don’t have as much in common as you thought you did — you don’t share similar important life goals such as marriage or family," Dr. Brown says. Though and your partner certainly don't have to agree on everything, if it seems like you're disagreeing on some major things, summer could be a good time to take some time to see what really matters to you.
Whether you need a few days to collect your thoughts or an entire month to see where you heart is at, the summer can be a great time to relax, rejuvenate, and reassess your relationship needs. Of course, no one knows your relationship better than you, and if you and your boo are going strong all year long that's awesome too. No matter how long you've been seeing someone, it's always OK to
take some time for yourself — no matter the season.