Here’s What Relationship Experts Have To Say About Adding Your Partner On Find My Friends
Why message your partner about their whereabouts when you could just keep tabs on them at all times? Whether or not the convenience of the Find My Friends app overshadows the creepiness of it really depends on who you ask, especially when it comes to using it as a way to monitor someone you're dating. So, should you add your partner on find my friends? The short answer is that it really depends on the situation.
According to NYC relationship expert Susan Winter, a more relevant question is why you'd feel the need to have access to their location at any given time. "The real question here is one of intention," Winter tells Elite Daily. "Why do you want to track your partner? Do you doubt his or her fidelity? Are you telling your partner this feature will assist your joint safety and security when you really want to monitor their activities?"
When it comes to safety, there are obvious advantages to knowing where your partner is, especially if they're in a vulnerable situation, like heading home on their own after a few drinks or taking a solo trip. "The pros of knowing your partner's location involve safety and security," explains Winter. "For example, there's a bad ice storm and your partner's not home yet or their route takes them through desolate areas, and they're not answering their phone. This app could be a lifesaver in such case."
On the other hand, if you know deep down that your true motive for using the app would be to confirm that they're being honest about where they are, Winter warns that this indicates the trust between the two of you could be lacking, especially if the relationship is in its early stages. "If you're early on in a relationship and your partner requests this type of tracking, they'd need to have a truly valid reason," says Winter. "What are the conditions? Are they proposing this for ongoing use, or just at certain times? Under conditions of bad weather or dangerous travel?"
If you feel that your reasoning for tracking (or theirs) is valid, then it's also possible for this capability to be used as a tool to help things run smoothly. "Is it an efficiency tool, such as my friend's reason for sharing this feature with her husband?" Winter asks. If so, she believes it's not necessarily a problem. "She has a massively successful online home-based business, and he works outside of the home. Knowing when he leaves work gives her a heads up as to when to start dinner, as well as wrap up her own projects."
Ultimately, if you're considering utilizing any form of location tracking in your relationship, Winter emphasizes the importance of establishing trust first. "This type of tracking works best in committed relationships that already have trust in place, however, it can't be a substitute for it," says Winter. Only you and your partner know for certain what the true motivation behind location sharing would be. If you decide as a couple that this is something that you'd like to incorporate for a specific event or even on an ongoing basis, then there's no harm in giving it a try. And if it ends up making either of you feel uncomfortable, then you can make a long-term decision about it with that in mind.