Should I Share Money With My Partner? 6 Women Share Why They Don’t Go There
First of all, if you think Ariana Grande's "7 Rings" is a banger, I highly recommend listening to Princess Nokia's "Mine," in which the catchy "It's mine, I bought it" hook first graced the earth. No matter your musical preference, when it comes to money — for a lot of people, what's yours, is well, yours. If you're wondering, "should I share money with my partner?" you're not the only one. No matter your current income or expenses, money can be a source of stress for even the most compatible relationships.
In a 2018 study by Personal Capital of more than more than 2,000 American millennials, 45 percent of participants expressed that money was the biggest source of stress in their relationship. No matter where you and your partner fall on the financial spectrum, money doesn't always buy happiness. Frankly, if your bank statement looks anything like mine, it can't even always buy dinner. If you've been dating your partner for a while or if you live together, you may be wondering if you should begin to share your finances. And while for some couples, sharing may be caring, for other's, keeping it separate can work better.
I spoke to six women about getting together, but still keeping money separate.
1. My Generosity Is Offered But Not Expected
"I make a lot more than my partner and I'm happy to treat for dinner or if I know his fridge is completely empty except for a family-size container of spinach artichoke dip I'll pick up some groceries for him. But I like to know it's on my terms to be generous and it's not an expectation that I'm like his sugar momma or that I should have to buy stuff."
— Staci, 28
2. It Gets Messy
"My dad always said that money made life messy. I take care of my things, my boyfriend takes care of his things. I'm happy to keep our relationship about love and hanging out and nothing more."
— Clarissa, 23
3. Can't Share What You Don't Have
"I have never achieved a level of financial ability to even consider sharing money with anyone so that’s an easy one! I think we both try to buy what we can buy, but when you're both broke sometimes that's not much."
— Gabby, 26
4. There's Such An Imbalance
"Um my girlfriend makes like triple what I do, because non-profits lol. So we try to be as honest as possible about what we can afford and what we're willing to contribute, but I think like 'sharing' would be hard because there's such an imbalance."
— Alison, 25
5. Not My Thing
"I mean it's just not my nature to share. I work hard and I make money and I save a lot. I love my partner but they don't really need to be involved with my financial life."
— Zoe, 20
6. You Can Still Treat Each Other!
"Just cuz what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is yours doesn’t mean we can’t treat each other"
— Nancy, 26
No matter your finical situation, you get to decide how you and your partner handle your money. If sharing everything works for you, that's awesome. If keeping things separate works better, that's awesome too. If you're feeling some money stresses with your boo, talk about how you're feeling and remember it's OK to want to keep your finances to yourself. Money probably can't solve all your problems, but open dialogue can sure solve a lot of them.