The on-again, off-again relationship may have worked out for Rachel and Ross, and Miley and Liam, but it's not for everyone. In fact, some people may downright avoid these situations like the plague. And who can blame them? These types of relationships can be complicated, not to mention rather painful — and in some cases, straight-up unhealthy. So, it comes as no surprise that if you're a certain personality type, on-again, off-again relationships aren't your thing.
You may already know that your Myers Briggs personality type can play a big role in how you operate in relationships, affecting everything what turns you on and how you handle breakups to who you tend to fall for. In exploring which personality types are more likely to reignite a former flame, it’s helpful to consider each individual trait that makes up your type. For example, Sensing people tend to value practicality — and how practical is it, really, to redate someone who caused you pain? It’s safe to say that someone who is assigned the Sensing trait may be less likely to be in an on-again, off-again situation, then, because they focus on the concrete facts of their failed relationship — like, you know, the fact that they're totally incompatible — rather than daydreaming about what it could be like if they get back together. Thinkers make decisions based on logic rather than feeling, meaning they’re far less likely than Feelers to get carried away by emotions when they see or hear from an ex again. And while Perceiving individuals tend to be more spontaneous, Judging people would rather stick to a strategic plan, which obviously makes them less prone to take an ex back on impulse.
All of these traits certainly factor into whether someone might give their ex a second chance. But these specific personality types are probably never going to find themselves in an on-again, off-again relationship.
Responsible and conscientious, ISFJs place a lot of value on convention and sticking to tried-and-true courses of action. ISFJs also like structure, and they purposefully incorporate it into their lives. They’re also pretty risk-averse. If a situation has a decent potential for failure, they’re likely to avoid it entirely.
When you consider that getting back together with an ex is a super risky move, then it makes sense that this personality type would be less likely to fall back into a former relationship. Basically, if an ISFJ does take a risk, it’s only after they’ve determined that the pros vastly outweigh the cons. An on-again, off-again relationship is inherently complicated and chock full of risks, so it makes sense that an ISFJ would probably avoid getting into this situation.
The ISTJ is thorough, matter-of-fact, and realistic to the core. They like to make decisions based on logic, and take joy in having an order to everything they do. They’re also super cautious, and that means they tend to avoid taking risks. Not to mention, they have a deep-seated fear of failure. So, it makes sense that ISTJs may not eagerly jump back into a failed relationship. An on-again, off-again relationship tends to hint at some deep-rooted problems that have yet to be fixed. And an ISTJ is not going to give someone a second chance based merely on a hunch, or just because they feel like it — they’re far too careful for that.
In other words, unless they can determine — by analyzing the hard facts at their disposal — that the relationship has a greater chance of succeeding than it does spiraling downward all over again, they’re probably not going to revisit it.
ESTJs despise unpredictability — and as such, they do everything in their power to create a sense of control and security in their lives by establishing as much structure as possible. In fact, all it takes is one failure for an ESTJ to become more careful about how they approach a situation the next time, so it goes without saying that if a relationship ends poorly, they’re not likely to hop back into it.
Plus, ESTJs are extremely strong-willed — in fact, this personality type can be downright stubborn. So if an ESTJ was the one who ended the relationship, then the odds are slim that they’ll suddenly change their mind about their ex and want to give it another go.
Not only that, but ISFJs make a concerted effort to maintain harmony in their environment, so if the relationship ended because it was toxic in any way or caused them a lot of emotional distress, then they probably won’t consider revisiting it.
Not unlike ESTJs, ESFJs prioritize order and predictability, and they’re not into taking risks whatsoever. As inherent peacekeepers, they’re especially unlikely to take a risk if it could contribute to any tension in their lives or have any other kind of negative impact for their loved ones. So as an ESFJ, if your friends and family disapproved of your ex and it was causing issues in your other relationships, you're probably not going to get back together with that person.
ESFJs are known for being very sensitive and loyal, but they’re also super cautious and inflexible — and highly unlikely to step outside of their comfort zones. They also tend to have very specific needs for their relationships. So if you're an ESFJ and your ex wasn’t meeting your needs, there’s a good chance you won’t give them another shot.
If you’re someone who values logic over emotion, avoids risks, and tends to be super calculated in your decision-making, then you’re obviously less likely to get entangled in the exhausting cycle that is an on-again, off-again relationship. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule — after all, personality types are not an exact science, and each individual and relationship is unique. But if you’re one of these four Myers Briggs types, let’s just say you’re more likely to say “boy, bye” than you are to keep repeatedly ending and then reigniting a romance that isn't working.
