Relationships

I Messaged My Tinder Matches With Lines From 'Hocus Pocus' & Here's What Happened

by Jamie Kravitz
Walt Disney Pictures + Jamie Kravitz

Fall weather is finally here, which means I can actually get in the Halloween spirit. After going apple picking in 80-degree weather, I'm ready to don my Ugg boots, light a pumpkin-scented candle, and snuggle up under blankets to watch Halloween movies from the '90s. Of course, this is much more fun when done with someone by your side. So, in the spirit of Halloween (and in advance of cuffing season), I decided to combine my extensive knowledge of the Walt Disney Pictures classic Hocus Pocus with my talent for Tinder-ing. I messaged Tinder matches with lines from Hocus Pocus, because 'tis the season for magic and mischief.

I'll be honest, the Tinder experiment didn't go quite as well as I had hoped. In my head, my matches picked up on what I was doing and played along, or at the very least commended me for my hilarious and masterful use of semi-obscure movie quotes. Alas, I don't think anyone realized where I was going with my messages. I did get some interesting responses, though, ranging from bewildered to completely oblivious. I could probably write a dissertation about the single male's one-track mind, but sharing some screenshots seems a whole lot easier — and way more fun.

1. This guy, who just wanted to flirt.

I began with this line from the beginning of the movie, which Max says to Allison before they enter the old Sanderson house and set the events of the film in motion. It felt flirty enough to get a response, while still being a verbatim quote.

Yes, this is something that Dani says to her brother, Max. Don't make it weird.

I think it's safe to assume he wasn't amused.

2. This dude, who must not like witches.

While scrolling through his profile, I saw that one of his pictures showed him in a Halloween costume. This gave me the perfect in for this line. But when I followed that initial message with another quote, this time courtesy of the witch-obsessed Allison, I didn't get a response.

3. The guy who really wanted to know where I lived.

I cheated a bit to set this one up, I'll admit. But I so desperately wanted to quote Winifred when Billy tells her to go to hell. New Jersey isn't quite hell... unless you ask a New York City native.

This was followed by another "Where do you live?" message, at which point I gave up on the conversation. I mean, has no one seen the cinematic masterpiece that is Hocus Pocus?

4. This conversation, which was far from legendary.

I guess he was too busy untangling his knickers to respond.

5. The guy who flipped the script on me.

I reused the Peter Pan line, because it just feels fitting around Halloween. Plus, the opener is intriguing enough to get something back — even if all this dude could manage was "Yup."

Um, wrong movie, guy. C'mon now. Keep up.

6. The conversation I resurrected months later, in true Hocus Pocus fashion.

If the Sanderson Sisters can come back better than ever after 300 years, this conversation should be able to survive an almost four-month-long gap, right?

...Right?

If I learned anything from this festive Tinder experiment, it's that more people need to watch Hocus Pocus. Especially if they want to date me. Happy Halloween, sisters!

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