Here’s How 10 People Broke Up With Someone Who Wasn’t Quite Right For Them
Anyone who's ever looked someone they loved in the eye and ended things knows that breaking up can be extremely hard. So hard that avoiding face to face discussions happens surprisingly often. Even though it's challenging, being as considerate and direct as possible is usually the best course of action. Oftentimes, this means having an honest IRL conversation so you both can get the closure you'll need to eventually move on. Redditors who broke up with someone who wasn’t quite right give us some solid examples of how to respectfully end a relationship.
The sad truth is that no matter what you say or how you say it, cutting the cord is going to be difficult. However, there are ways to ensure that you don't cause someone unnecessary hurt or drama. Even though the truth might not be easy to hear, communicating your emotions honestly is key. "Let this person know that you value them, but you don't see a future," NYC relationship expert Susan Winter previously told Elite Daily. "Be kind and thoughtful and remember, their emotions and ego are on the line." If you need some more guidance, here's how people on Reddit have ended relationships with people they really cared about.
1. Do it in person.
I was honest and did it face to face. I made it clear that I truly care for him, and even though we both love each other, I cannot be in a relationship with someone who is suffering with severe mental illness and refuse getting help. "I can be supportive, but I cannot fix people, and even though it's not your intention you're putting me in a position where I will have to sacrifice my own well-being for yours". He agreed with me and respected my decision, we hugged, and I left.
In person. It's the hardest way but still the best. You can explain everything that needs to be explained face to face, so no one is under any illusions.
I told him (face to face) that he can always come to me for comfort and support, but I'm not in the right emotional state to continue any longer. Told him I'll always be there for him but not romantically involved. It still hurts me whenever I replay his reaction in my head, but I feel like no matter how you do it, it'll hurt to some degree.
2. Be honest and mature.
As nicely as possible. The worst thing you can do is drag it out while you're miserable.
Dealing with your partner honestly may hurt their feelings, but it tells them that decent partners can be honest and forthright about their feelings, and won't just hide things until everyone is miserable and things fall apart on their own.
You should always do your best not to add to people's baggage. A clean, sensible, mature break up will hurt, but it won't hurt their mind or give them a bunch of unnecessary baggage.
3. Bite the bullet.
"I'm sorry, we're just not right for each-other." And then you move on. There's no super-awesome secret '1 slick trick' to breaking up with someone- you just have to do it.
4. Be kind, empathetic, and direct.
With kindness, empathy, and firmness. Give them a solid reason for leaving, stick to it, and do not give them any hope for a future reconciliation. You can love someone and still leave them. A relationship lasts only along as both are committed to it, so there's no point in maintaining the illusion of it for their sake and wasting both of your's time
5. Try not to change your mind.
I think it's not about the way you break up with someone, but what you do afterwards.
Do not ever give them any impression there might be a chance you'll get back together. That will prolong the Heartbreak unnecessarily. Also, if you get the impression they're having a hard time getting over you, get out of their life entirely. That will make it make easier for them to get over you than if you try and stay friends.
Be honest, explain why its not working, but don't weasel out of it because of something they say. There is a reason you wanted out, stick with it and it will be better for the both of you.
6. Choose the right venue.
In private. Not during a party or the like. If there is some degree of seriousness to the relationship, do it somewhere neither of you frequent. You don't want your favorite park to be "The place where xxx and I split".
7. Consider remaining friends if that's what you both want.
If you're looking for a nice way to do it, that usually means you're on good terms with the person and want to be friends. it really is nice to say that you still want to be friends afterward, even if that might not last as long as you'd planned.
Deciding when and how to end a relationship is a very personal decision. But there are some guidelines that can make the process and subsequent healing a bit easier. In the end, only you know what the best decision is for you and your partner.