Does Sexting Help Relationships? 3 People Reveal How It Affected Their Bond With Their Partner
The topic of sexting can be a controversial one. There are privacy concerns, of course. Even if you completely trust the person you're sending dirty texts or photos to, you can never be too careful when it comes to your identity being associated with naked pictures. That issue aside, though, especially when you're dating someone long-distance, sexting can help keep the spark alive in a relationship. When you can't physically see or be with your partner, dirty texts, naughty photos, phone sex, and video chats may have to suffice. So, does sexting help relationships? Or is it more work than it's worth?
I spoke to three different people about the role that sexting has played in their romantic relationships, and they each had a lot to say on the subject. Sexting can definitely affect your bond with your partner, though not always in a beneficial way. When both you and your partner are equally into the scenario and are actively participating, sexting can make you feel closer to one another. But there are always two sides to every story, and sexting is no exception. Faking orgasms happens in real life all the time, and it's only that much easier to do over the phone.
Don't just assume that your partner is enjoying themselves as much as you are. Check in consistently and ensure that you're both benefiting from the exchange. Here are some other tips to remember, as well as ways that sexting can improve (or stagnate) your bond with your partner.
1. Sexting isn't always as enjoyable for one partner as it is for the other.
This woman would often pretend to be participating, just so that her long-distance boyfriend could feel good.
It helped my long distance relationship, but there were moments when it was all about him and not me. I would be in bed watching Gilmore Girls and eating Cheetos, and he would be having his fun. I would pretend most of the time.
— Stephanie*, 23
2. It might feel weird at first, but it can ultimately bring you closer to your long-distance partner.
It took this woman a while to get used to having sex with her partner over the phone or computer.
My boyfriend and I have been long-distance for most of our relationship. We only get to see each other every two to three months, which is very difficult. So we will have video dates, have phone sex, and dirty text. At first it was weird and unusual to get into. But I think it helps us stay close if we can't be physically together.
— Sophie*, 23
3. Feeling vulnerable can be a turn-on for men and women.
This guy enjoys the feelings of desire and vulnerability that sexting brings out in both him and his partner.
I'm not the best with texting my intentions in a sexy way, but a few risqué pictures here and there almost always spice things up. I like feeling desired and vulnerable, and I feel as though women aren't much different.
— Tom*, 23
Sexting can actually be a very enjoyable experience. When done with both partners' feelings in mind, it's easy to understand why sexting can be such a turn-on. It's never going to feel exactly like the real thing, but it can make you and your partner feel closer to one another in new and exciting ways.
If you want to try sexting or you aren't satisfied with the way you and your S.O. currently sext, try bringing it up the next time you're together. There's really no benefit to doing it unless you're both equally into what's happening.
*Name has been changed.
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