It's a Friday night, and your plans just fell through. (Thank the gods because you didn't want to leave the comfort of your own bed anyway.) What now? There's always Netflix, but you're kind of in the mood for some serious self-loving first. The problem is, your roommates are right next door, and your walls may as well be paper. Or maybe you're visiting your parents and your childhood bedroom cozily sits right next to theirs. Regardless of your situation, super quiet sex toys can seriously come in ~handy~. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)
All horrible puns aside, your trusty go-to sex toy may not be the best for every circumstance, so I've put together a list of eight really quiet ones that are perfect for any and all sneaky self-love sessions. And remember: While giving your body the attention and pleasure it deserves is incredibly important, there are partner-play sex toys that can be used by two. Whether you're into penetration, oral simulation, or anal play, these sex toys can be used for any sort of pleasure. The next time you're really in the mood, you may want to consider using one of these eight sex toys to satisfy your needs, without the fear of interruption or the slightest bit of paranoia.
1Love Egg Vibrator
Desire Luxury Rechargeable Remote Control Love Egg Vibrator
Remember the scene in The Ugly Truth where Katherine Heigl's character wears vibrating underwear to a work dinner and a kid finds the remote and starts playing with it, resulting in Heigl's character climaxing mid-speech? Well, with this vibrator, you and your partner can play, too. Or you can ride solo at home, without making a sound.
Mini Marvels Marvelous Flicker Extra Quiet Silicone Tongue Vibrator
Why have just any vibrator when you can have one in the shape of a tongue with 10 intense levels of tongue-mimicking action? Meant for clitoral simulation, the Marvelous Flicker will have you envisioning your partner performing some killer cunnilingus. And it's waterproof, so you can take your self-love session to the bathtub, if that's your thing.
3G-Power Silicone G-Spot Vibrator
G-Power Silicone Extra Quiet G-Spot Vibrator 4.5 Inch
Some people turn to clitoral simulation for an orgasm, while others are more G-spot-inclined. This sex toy is best for the latter. Its smooth silicone texture and curved shape is perfect for penetration, and its whisper-quiet motor makes it easy to orgasm anytime, anywhere. With 10 functions, three steady speeds, and seven patterns, it's like you'll have 10 different vibrators in one.
4The Super Silencer
Super Silencer Extra Quiet Vibrator Set (3 Piece)
If ever there were a poster child for the sex toy that gives you the most bang for your buck, it's this one, especially if you're a first-time sex toy user. The Super Silencer comes with your typical whisper-quiet, multi-speed vibrator; a G-spot-specific vibrator with multi-speed sensation; and the portable three-speed bullet (which is perfect for pinpoint simulation).
Bodywand Aqua Massage Wand Vibrator
While wand vibrators are usually really noisy, this one definitely is not, and not because of a lack of power. This wand comes with eight different patterns of vibrations and one-touch speed control for all your pleasure needs. It's completely wireless and waterproof.
6Sensual Glass Dildo
Beaded Sensual Glass Dildo 8 Inch
If you don't just want a quiet sex toy, but rather, a completely silent one, the Beaded Glass Dildo is your best bet. Since it's not electric at all, no one will be able to hear anything. This sex toy works for vaginal or anal stimulation, whichever floats your boat. And if you want to get really creative, you can play with the temperature of the dildo: Submerge it in warm water or cool it in the fridge for 10 minutes before use.
Screaming O Screamin Demon Extra Quiet Clitoral Vibrator
With its extra quiet feature, the screaming demon guarantees a low-key, unheard solo session. Not to mention the silicone "horns" and "nub" allow the vibrations to reach your entire vulva and labia, for the fullest sensation.
8Vesper Crave Necklace
A sex toy that doubles as a necklace? Talk about a low-key vibe, and this Vesper necklace by Crave is almost totally silent. It comes with four speeds and two modes (pulsing and constant), all of which are whisper-quiet.
Next time you're on the hunt for a super quiet sex toy, one of these will most certainly do the trick. And remember: Almost all sex toy materials are compatible with water-based lubricants, like this one from KY. Happy self-loving, babes.